Erica Putis

Smenergy

2010-08-03T12:29:00.001-07:00

When our worlds are full of computers and electronics, when do we take the time to be open to the physical energy of someone right in front of us?

Energy - smenergy... I know it sounds hippie-dippy but it's amazing how strong it is, when you are actually confronted with it. But I don't think most people are open to it. Especially when it comes from a stranger, who is possibly a bit... strange. I know personally, I am very guarded and wouldn't talk to some random person even if they were trying to tell me something important about my life. I have an agenda and I'm on my way somewhere. I usually don't want to speak to anyone. Especially if I'm by myself. It could be because I'm a female and am always protecting myself. Or it could be that I'm simply not open to what I could learn from others. Of course I am open with my close friends and family, but when a stranger confronts me, I am usually suspicious.

Why have we all become so suspicious of each other? Has the TV and internet made us so scared we can't even make eye contact with each other? We are all just molecules shaking and buzzing around. All made up of energy and each person you meet is affected by the energy your shaking molecules are giving off. It seems strange to me that talking and accepting a strangers' molecule vibrations would make us uneasy. You would think that because we are all made up of the same stuff we should all be connected almost as if we are family. But I think we are so removed from feeling anything physiological that we ignore, or choose to ignore, what others are trying to convey. It's safer and less distracting.

But for evolution reasons, wouldn't it be beneficial to try to connect more with each other? Wouldn't it be wise to always be learning from our peers? Isn't that what we learn in elementary school? Why do we become so closed off the older we get?

We are going to probably destroy our Earth sooner or later, and the only way we can survive as a race is to grow and learn. And if we can share the ideas instead of fighting over them we might just get there. Not sure where... But I imagine there will be unicorns and rainbows everywhere... Also it would rain skittles. Hahaha...

Anyway, I think I'm going to try to be less closed off and more open to growing. It probably won't make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things but maybe I'll personally flounder less with my own life and goals... And less floundering is always good, unless you really like fish...

EAP

Up Date Yo-self!

2010-07-06T16:28:00.000-07:00

So to phase out Myspace, I updated this site to hopefully be my main page for all things, E-Pu... Although I'm still going to use the calendar for all my events at myspace.com/ericaap for the time being. So even though I don't blog a ton anymore I will be updating on here and rambling on facebook/twitter.

You LOVE social networking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erica

Happy Days are here again

2010-05-14T23:58:00.000-07:00

Happiness has been a top priority in my life for about 3 or 4 years but the last couple of months I have really be thinking, researching and communicating with my closest friends and family about how if affects our lives and the people we surround ourselves with.

I feel like I have figured this out long ago... I think it started when my Dad passed away. I started saying annoying mottos like "You may die tomorrow so you might as well do what makes you happy today" or "don't save things for a special occasion - if something makes you feel good, do it and use it now." For real... Annoying. But I can't stop saying it. Every time I start talking about something other than the weather with someone, it turns to happiness.

I don't want to preach or anything but I truly believe that if you are happy in life you will not only affect the people you come in contact with but will live a very fulfilled life. Who wants to wake up one morning when you are 85 years old and realize that you weren't really happy most of your life and that you have many regrets??? Fuck that. That's fucking retarded. There may be reincarnation or a heaven or some kind of energy that we turn into after we die but all we really know is what is happening in this life time. The here and now is really all we have. We can look towards the future but really only the present is what we can experience. Why would you want to live the only life that we know of, as an unhappy one? It just doesn't make sense to me.

I don't really have anything to sum up. Just be happy, bitches!!! Stop your fucking whining and be grateful you have your health, family and friends who love you.

I know that I'm grateful for it... But then again, I'm an annoying motto sayer...

Erica (or ghetto version Air-ca)

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

2009-09-26T13:49:00.001-07:00

So some changes have been happening around here. My band, The Predicates, after long discussions and many years together have decided to call it quits. There are no hard feelings or any drama but we are just all going in different directions and it was time. Thank you, everyone for all your support!! We had a wonderful run and hope you enjoyed the music and shows...

With that said I will be focusing on my other 2 bands, Recordable Colors and The Mashtis. Both different and both awesome!! You could call it differawesome. :) And I'm still working on my clothing business and the event company. Also, my Mom is moving here to San Diego in a couple of weeks!! I'm so freakin' excited I could just kiss you!!

Even I don't blog that much anymore, cool stuff comes out of the internet socializing network. Take for example today: I was referred by Jay to do an interview for Burl & Anne Live at 7pm tonight!!! I'm so excited and will be talking about all my endeavors and hopefully making you laugh or at least smile at my extreme dorkiness. Haha... Go here to listen: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AnnieBurlTalk/2009/09/27/Recordable-Colors-and-Super-Secret-Project

Hope you are all fantastic little kumquats and feel free to be my friend on facebook!! (my new world wide web hangout) www.facebook.com/erica.putis

Love,
E-Pu

Take the night off!!

2009-06-22T22:45:00.000-07:00

I have too many random thoughts going through my head to Twitter so I'm going to say it here so I don't start talking to myself. Maybe homeless people should have blogs... Then they won't seem so crazy. God I'm deep. Haha...

First off, Star Trek the Next Generation is really bad tv... But it's better than the news. And tonight's episode is really fucking weird because it takes place on earth and SHAJAN Luke Picard is getting all emo with his bro and shit. And the replacement Spock had parents weekend and they are human and he is totally embarrassed by them. Funny stuff. Then I have to gloat and say not only did I get my credentials for the SD/Del Mar Fair, I actually cooked and did dishes... Oh, also, the boy on this bad 80's remake of Star Trek is so gay. Too bad he could have come out of the closet on the show. It would have been great freakin' ratings.

I think that's all I have to say for now. Live long and drink wine.

Oh and make sure to paint your toenails pink at least once in your life... You haven't lived life till you felt like Barbie's feet. Hahahahaha...

Good night lovelies,

Erica aaappp

That's soooooooo 1995...

2009-06-16T15:17:00.000-07:00

I don't really know why I keep this blog. I guess I think I will get all excited about it again someday and start writing. But as it looks right now, I'm so extremely busy that my nights of having a glass of wine and writing in my blog are gone. Now the world of Twitter and Facebook has made my ADD life quite fulfilling. You don't even need to advertise yourself or read other peoples blogs... You just post a 140 characters of shit and people respond. Haha... Nice and Easy - just like the hair dye.

Actually I'm more into Manic Panic... I know. It's so 1995 of me, but that shit is cool! It's supposedly all natural and only takes 15mins to die your hair. So I get my green tips in no time flat!! Yup - I have green hair now. It sounds gross but it's totally cool!! Sometimes I feel like my hair is like grass or looks like my half dying bamboo in my house. And sometimes if my hair is curled and flowing, it looks like I'm a mermaid with seaweed for hair... Haha... Someone said that to me. I would never call myself a mermaid. That would be egotistical. If I thought I were a mermaid that means, not only would I think I was beautiful, with big breasts and a fancy/sparkly tail, I would think that I'm a fucking mermaid and that is crazy.

Anyway, I know I don't have any followers anymore on this thing but I decided a while back I don't give a shit. I'm writing for myself now so there is no pressure... Which is good because I've got some mad pressure centers coming my way. Of course there is music. Not only am I in The Predicates, I have joined a side band, Recordable Colors (that I may have mentioned in previous posts) and have started singing and playing bass for Itai Faierman. All of them are super fun and very different sounding which is wonderful for me because it spices things up while they all make me grow as a musician. Fun stuff. Make sure to check out a show. You can see my show schedule on my solo page. :)

Then I have my clothing company, Nuclear Clothing, that has kind of been on hiatus this year but I plan on making more stuff, doing more runway shows and will start putting my clothes into local boutiques. Last but not least, a couple of my friends and I have decided to start putting on events supporting local music, art, food and entrepreneurs so we can make something bigger and better as a community so people will take notice. IndieGo Park has already done a couple of events and they have been hugely successful... Our next one is at the Casbah on August 30th so make sure you make it out to this fun and FREE event. We are hoping to make this one as epic as the last one!!

So in closing, I may not be a super-blogger-machine-maker but I have some things in the oven that are sure to beat that hot pocket in your microwave. You guys are wonderful supportive pumpkins and I can't even believe you read this whole entry. It's way too long for the FaceBook/Twitter conditioned...

ADD in the hiz-ous!!!

Erica AP

Whine and Cheese

2008-11-12T13:05:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be working but I'm distracted. I'm supposed to be productive but I'm distracted. A little bit of work for money, a little bit of work for me. The work for me is overwhelming and requires more time than what I have to give. I feel myself pulling myself in all different directions but knowing in the back of my head that this is what I want. I've learned to put stress on a back burner but lately the stress is coming from areas in my life that are important and in turn is motivating me. My mind feels cluttered just writing about it.

I'm also feeling frustrated. I'm frustrated at cliques and who's cool and who's not. I'm frustrated that as adults, we still feel the need to be like this. It's frustrating that people who you think are friends, wouldn't want to work together to make something bigger than ourselves. I'm frustrated at peoples lack of respect, so much as they can't even acknowledge or respond to a simple email.

A new venture. Because of today, I'm not so sure I want to venture. My mind is overtly cluttered and there is not much more room for this kind of frustration. So maybe it will have to go on a back burner for a while. Which is ok because lets face it... I'm only one person and I can only whine for so long. So, so long to the whine and bring on the cheese. DONE!!

It's good for your health, yo!!

2008-07-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

How are my little tidbits doing? I'm doing quite well, thanks for asking... I feel like I'm just going to have to stick to updating once and a while because again - Twitter has out won in the battle of the blog-text-self-obsessed-internet-faze... I actually have to think and sort out my thoughts with this blog. God forbid if I slow down enough to do that. But once and a while it's good for my health. Haha... I'm kidding. My blog is not good for anyones health, silly!! That's why I write in it... To waste everyone's time. I'm a fucking genius.

Anyway, so I've been a busy bee, of course. I have become a Twitter whore (as aforementioned), I have been writing and recording The Predicates new album, have been practicing a ton with my side project - Recordable Colors, and have been gearing up for another runway show for Nuclear Clothing... The most amusing part of all of this has been my decision to apply for Project Runway. That's right... You didn't get dyslexic all of a sudden... I said Project Runway. Haha... I wasn't even thinking of it but my friend mentioned it and gave me the link for the application and low and behold it all of a sudden it seemed like a good idea. Don't ask me why... I have never been trained and know nothing of patterns and can only sew averagely. (I didn't know "averagely" was a real word!!) But I figured I might as well, because what have I got to lose? It doesn't cost money and all I have to do is write and make a video about how awesome I am... Haha... I AM AWESOME!!! Haha... God, I'm such a dork.

So wish me luck and someday when I'm a famous designer I will make you all red speedos. Because I know how much you secretly love red speedos...

Love,
Your Fairy God Mother

Only read if you are drunk because I swear it's more funny...

2008-06-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

I don't want to sound like too much of a girl, but really... WTF??? If you are a girl you know what I mean... I don't even have to explain. Haha...

So I've had a pretty good night... Practice, wine, friends and garlic bread. You can never go wrong with garlic bread or friends.

I've been using Twitter so much lately that I don't even know if I can write a whole entry!! I think I've got ADD now.

How about I just write you this very stimulating song lyrics:

The sun is so strong
Like a great game of ping pong
Don't forget the other drinking game
Shooting ping pong balls is not lame

Forever young (oh shit... I think I stole that from Rod Stewart)

I swear I'm not bitter
and I never litter
But I'm feeling annoyed
Like an out-of-space android

Forever young???? (hahahaha...)

The lame guy needs to go
Like one of those walking yo-yos
And while I make love to my drink
I realize you are not the link

Forever young... ( I totally sing this in my head every time I type it...)

Soul Train put it in perspective
Like a class you don't need, an elective
I am sick of thinking of you
because you are a big fat pooh...

Hahaha... Just how many brain cells did you lose reading that???

Love,
Erica

Monkey see, monkey do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-20T23:50:00.000-07:00

I think I can take a breath now. Holy shit, have I been busy. I have my first runway show for my clothing company on Friday and I'm still making clothes. It really is like Project Runway, where you are literally making and altering clothes till the night of the show. Crazy and stressful but awesome all at the same time. I can't wait. And of course I'm still doing Predicates shit, but I've also joined another side band, and it's pretty cool. Much different than the Preds, but very good too. New stuff is always fun. And I finished my solo album and am just trying to get the money to get it pressed. So many things in the works... I hope I'm not spreading myself too thin. I don't really feel like it, but I feel a little ADD sometimes. One day I'll be super motivated about one project and another day I'll be pumped about another one. Maybe that's my way of distributing my energy. We'll see if it works.

And through all these projects I still need to work a 40 hour job and make time for friends, family and myself... I'm getting good at this scheduling thing. :) Although owning your business has it's stresses. I'm not talking about money because I'm not really making a profit yet but I've realized how hard it is to rely on other people. Even the people that you thought cared. I learned this when I worked for this awful purse designer a while back. She would work, day and night, on her company and then give me a guilt trip about not caring as much as her. Of course I don't care as much as her. It's not my company, she paid me crap and had absolutely no respect for me. That a sure fire way to get an employee to not care. I can't wait to have employees because I know exactly what NOT to do. Even if I don't do everything right, I know I will never treat anyone the way she treated me.

So 12am on a Tuesday night, I just made 2 skirts and I feel like I have the energy to write in this blog. I must be doing something right...

But I'm still feeling a little guilty that this blog is not so funny anymore... Maybe I just haven't hit my elbow in a while? Get it?? Funny bone? Haha... God, I'm a dork.

Here's a funny tid-bit... There was a crazy naked man running around my back patio last night like a caged monkey. For real... I'm not fucking kidding. It was extremely bizarre and as time passes it gets more and more amusing...

Alright. That's all I got, my sexy things. I love and miss all 3 of you and hope you are living large. :)

Getting it on - one leg at a time.. (What???)
Erica AP

P.S. I was just looking for pictures of monkeys and I'm pretty sure a monkey will be my next pet. That's not weird to have a monkey instead of a kid, is it??

Everyone's got a bit of crazy eyes, right??

2008-03-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get in a place in my head that refuses to let me get out. I feel like I want to do something that is productive but instead I just sit and watch tv. Fuck tv. No- wait - I love tv but I don't like how it wastes half hour after half hour. Just because things aren't exactly the way you want them to be doesn't mean that life is shitty. It just mean you need to take a night off from trying to force something. Forcing anything in life is meaningless and fake. When I feel like I'm forcing something I feel uncomfortable and in turn make other people feel uncomfortable. My best bet is to just fucking chill out, take a deep breath and let time deal with it. Then I think how much easier it would be to be a hermit in the mountains of Vermont but then I remember that we as humans are social by nature and need to be around and communicate with others. But, damn, life is so much easier when you can just talk to yourself and your dog. Your dog understands everything. Even if he doesn't he, we think he does and that's all that matters. We are just trying to stay sane. Sane is a strange feature of life. I've lately come in contact with some not so sane actions and I'm not sure if I'm just being a fuddy-duddy or if I'm being logical like Dr. Spock, but I have an opinion about it and it's not very friend friendly. That makes me feel like a bad friend. But really, when someone goes a bit crazy there is not much I can do. I can tell them I'm worried and that's about it. I think the only crazy I can handle is my pup, because if you look at my flickr pictures you can see he's got the crazy eyes... I don't think I can handle the crazy eyes in a friend. So I say, ok.... and I have a glass of wine and let life churn around and around while I sit at my computer searching for something thats a little more sane than me... or my friend...

Saner than my dog,
EAP

Eating KFC is better than cooking it

2008-03-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

There is this commercial on tv for this local culinary school that drives me fucking batshit crazy. They have these actors, musicians, comedians and dancers that come on the commercial showing what they can do but kinda making them seem like they are not that good, and then telling you if you are creative to not follow your dream but fucking take a class to become a cook. Fuck you dude!! I get so aggravated that this commercial is telling creative people to give up on their dreams and to become a cook because it makes more money. Might as well just have my mom on TV saying I should marry a rich doctor. And I'm not in any way saying that cooking is not creative... Because if you are into that, then it's very creative, but to say that there is a slim to none chance of you making money on your real dream is really fucking shitty. There are so many people in the world right now not doing what they want because of money, and to have this commercial put down creative jobs for a better paying creative job is lame.

I guess when I talk to my mom and she tells me she wishes she had become a psychologist instead of a secretary it kinda hits home. Her mom told her to become a secretary like her sister because it makes good money and is steady. And now - she is almost at retirement age and still trying to decide what she wants to do for a living. We live in the U. S of A and we have the freedom to pick what we want to do for 40 hours a week, every day, in and out, for our entire lives. Why not take advantage? So you have to give up Starbucks coffee and can only buy one drink at the bar, I think it's a pretty fair trade considering you spend most of your life working.

So get up off your lazy ass and do what you want. Not what the commercial tells you to do. Unless it's getting some KFC, because, lets be serious... that shit looks awesome. Ummm....

Erica (the motivational speaker)

The Mundane Made Into Fun Time!!!

2008-03-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

The most productive time of the day for me is at 11pm at night after 2 and 1/2 glasses of wine. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. I literally just spent the last hour making an awesome veggie salad, doing the dishes and cleaning the stove. I'm not shitting you. Pretty buzzed, doing chores and have the best time.

So I've decided to put a memo out. That's right. When you read this in the morning there will be a nice memo on your desk (on pink paper with brown stripes - actually I don't even own stationary but if I did... Pink with brown stripes, baby...) and it will say:

To Whom It May Concern:

From this point and time it is required that if you have to do chores that you have a glass of wine before hand because it's way more fun and you get to talk to yourself out loud about all the grim and stuff you try to stuff down the drain, with no regard to what people think of you. You know... Because you are talking to yourself and all and you don't care because you are drunk...

If you do not follow these instructions you will be fired. Donald Trump style. That's right. I said it. Whatchu goin' do 'bout it??

Sincerely,

Da Boss (Not Bruce Springsteen)

So, you better fall in line because not only will the boss be on your ass you will have fun doing mundane things!!! I'm fucking genius...I know... You can thank me with a check made out to Erica A. Putis.

Love,
Erica A. Putis

Take a breather, man...

2008-03-07T13:48:00.000-08:00

I feel like I've had caffeine... Without the hyper. My heart is fluttering and my chest is tight. My mind wonders from one topic to another at lightning speed. I wish it was coffee doing this but I'm pretty sure it's anxiety. My breath is shallow and if I stand up too fast I feel light headed. I'm not sick... Not at all.

It's amazes me how powerful our minds are. A simple thought can take our physical self and turn it inside out at the drop of a hat. Did you know that an anxiety attack can be brought on by sight or sound? It could be completely subconscious. You could very well mistake it for a heart attack if you have never had one. My friend taught me about them long ago so I know the signs, although saying I'm having a heart attack is a pretty dramatic thing to say to get a rise out of the person you are with...

This year has brought upon me many changes. I love changes. I love that things move and life is not stagnant. If I feel like my life is stuck, I itch to get out. Right now, though... Nothing is stuck. I feel like great things are in store, but I can't ignore the not-so-good things. Often they are out of my control. As much as I would like to have an influence, I make no difference to the situation.

So I sit and wait. I work on what I can and I wait. This waiting is controlling my breathing, the pulse of my heart and my mind is cluttered. Not all bad clutter, but clutter non-the-less...

I've actually been wanting to write in this blog lately but who wants to read about non-amusing things? This was my source for a long time to write about only random, light Erica thoughts, but I don't feel like forcing the funny anymore. Don't get me wrong - I love myself some funny but sometimes just writing for myself is important too. It feng shui's my head into a better, cleaner living environment. So I'm setting the terms for this blog as follows:

I will write when I want.
I will write whatever the fuck I want.
And I will not care if you like it or not.

Wow - I sound like a bitch, huh? A rhyming bitch?? I swear I'm not. (a regular bitch) I'm still a very sweet girl who like to talk like a sailor... And maybe dress like one... What??? Haha...

See!! I'm crackin' jokes already. And my breathing has slowed... Already proof that when I do what I want, I'm better off. I hope you guys do the same because wearing a sailor suit can get you a lot of ass. Hahahaha...

Good times. Love you all.
Erica

Not funny but you can laugh if you want to. I'll be crying though...

2008-02-22T11:46:00.000-08:00

And it’s raining, but it’s not really rain. It’s more like a mist that moves from left to right while drifting down almost like a snow flurry. A flurry of water that’s so soft and so gentle that is makes you wonder why people hate it. Maybe because we are supposed to be dry by nature and those little particles put such a fine mist on us that when it gets us wet we are surprised and simply wet. Or maybe some people hate it because it ruins their hair and make up. Or there suede shoes get spoiled. Or they get cold. I have no problem with rain or mist. I like how it settles on my hair in tiny droplets and only soaks in when there is a combination of too many droplets, or if I touch it. I like it when my hair gets too saturated with rain, a tiny river of water runs down my face so that I have to wipe it away. I like watching my puppy run through the puddles only to find that he splashed water all over himself. I like to see him shake it off because he hates being wet. And when he shakes, it looks as if his legs aren’t even touching the ground. That is some mighty force that makes him shake so ferociously. We as humans don’t have the capacity to engage in such a distain of rain. Our brains and body feel it, but all we can do is speak about it. Or if you will, complain about it. Over and over… Every person you run into… Complains about the rain. Maybe you should just shake instead. I’m pretty sure a shaking ass would cure your rainy blues. Because it sure as hell cured mine.

Bemusing Pictures

2008-02-07T22:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's late. Yes, I haven't posted for a shit long time. Yes, I wish it was summer. Don't give me that shit about it being 65 degrees and me being cold. I'm cold and that the way the cookie crumbles. I know all about cold weather. I grew up in freaking Vermont. I KNOW cold weather, I tell you!!

Anyway, I don't have much too say. I just felt like writing. And thank goodness I don't think I'm funny tonight so you don't have to put up with any of my lame jokes that make you do those laugh-to-be-polite laughs... ha.. um.. ha... (that's the written version)

So how about I just post a couple of funny guy pictures because those are sure to get a genuine laugh or smile. I think... :) It better or I'll come over there and kick your ass...

This green guy really gets my angle man:

Is this guys beard made of cotton candy? I think I might try eating it if I ever met him. It that weird??

Ummm... I think you have something up your nose...

I think he could give Richard Simmons a run for his money:

Love and miss you all...

Erica

P.S. I still read many of your blogs even though I don't feel like commenting.

Retirement is for...

2007-11-26T22:49:00.000-08:00

Holy shit guys!! I'm trying to respond your comments and it's asking me for some lame password that I'm pretty sure is going to figure out my password for my bank account and steal all my $40 I have for the week. Bastards!!! ALL of them!!! '

I don't really know who I'm calling a bastard. I just love calling everything a bastard. See how many times I've written the word, "bastard" in the last couple of sentences??? Exactly. You know what I'm talkin' bout.

So now that there is no pressure to write it's a lot more fun, and it's not just because I'm drinking. Just kidding!!!! We all know I don't have to drink to write. What kind of person would I be if I couldn't be creative without the aid of sake??? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... A lame one?

Ummmm... so, how was your Thanksgiving??? Good, you spent it with family, friends or alone?? Cool. Glad you had a good time. Me too. The ultimate best thing about Thanksgiving is the time off from work. I've decided that working is lame-o and I best not be doing it sometime in the future. Hopefully before I'm 63. That's a hell of a lot of years wishing I could retire.

I'm sorry, what??? Did you say something? What?? Invest?? I'm sorry I don't comprehend.

So I just decided to make my dog a snow dog because at least he can work and pay for some bills. You know? Once your kids get older you need to make them start working. Back when I was little I used to work in the sweatshops of Nebraska. That's right... It's the puppies time to bring in the dough...

Next year he will be buying the Turkey for Thanksgiving. That free loadin' bastard!!! Haha... Just kidding!!! I love my pup and as much as it would benefit our home base I would rather feed him turkey than make him go into the cold snow because you know... He gets cold and shit. He's a wussy just like his Mum.

So happy holidays from Nebraska, I mean, San Diego. Good will and candy for everyone!!! Where's my fucking star to put on the top of the tree??

Erica & Stow

You knew it was coming, huh?

2007-11-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

You guys have been ever-so patient with me... I got lazy, then busy, then happy, then sad, then hungry... Wait... Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah, I've decided to take a blogging break. I haven't posted for a couple of weeks for many reasons, including but not limited to:

My computer being crap
The San Diego Fires (I'm fine - thank you.)
Roommates moving in and out
Moving friends in and out
Going to In and Out (a pretty great burger place)
Getting a second job
Playing with my dog
Playing with my band
Playing with... (I could totally write something dirty here)
Working on my clothing business
Unmotivation and laziness

and...

The number one reason I'm taking a break:

I've decided I'm too cool for blogging. Instead of writing all my woes on here I will be devoting my time to painting my nails black, wearing all black, smoking clove cigarettes and listening to The Smiths.

I know... Don't be jealous. Ok - you can be a little jealous but only because I said it was cool to be jealous of me.

See!!! Aren't you glad I'm taking a break? No more reading this crap!! Yeah for non-crap!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll be back,
The Erica-minator

Go ahead, make my day

2007-10-07T22:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get so wrapped up. Almost like one of those grape leave with all that weird healthy shit in it. It sounds interesting but when you eat it, you are like, "dude, this kinda taste gross." So sometimes I get wrapped up in a fantasy land that I like to call, "Erica, when she has lots of money and free time." I fall into an almost dream-like state when I see or watch certain things.

At work I sort the mail and one of the partners gets this magazine about traveling. So I borrowed it and dreamed and fantasized I was leaving on a jet plane and I didn't know when I'd be back again. (sorry - I don't remember the rest of the words to that song...) They sort it all out for you. You can leave one day and be in England the next, only to list off all these highly imagery (what? - did I say that right?) places that seems so old, full of history and magic.

I want to go to Ireland where the pixes play and the goats graze... Why do they have to be so cruel? Don't they know that I'm just a receptionist who has no money and an overactive imagination??

So I think I'm going to send them a letter. A letter telling them that I think their magazine is pretty spectacular but unfair and if they don't stop sending it that I will sue them like that lady did when hot coffee spilled on her from McDonalds.

I'm pretty sure they will be scared. As you should be too, because if you ever make me dream about things I can't have I will sue you like my name is Sue. (Did that scare you?? If not then just remember that I have blue hair now and that means I'm punk rock and I can totally kick your ass. Because punk rockers are really, really tough.)

Love you,
Sue

I'm totally jealous of her blue hair...

2007-10-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

I've decided to call myself a couple of things. First is lazy. I have been lazy in the hazy fazy area. If you don't know what that means then I suggest you back off before I get rough. I've been lazy in many areas and you are just lucky I'm writing this. Actually you aren't really lucky because it seems I'm rambling more than usual. (Just forewarning you that you may want to stop reading right now. And I mean "right now" as in "this very second" because I can guarantee the quotations will only become more plentiful).

I'm also easily distracted. Right now I'm listening to some sweet ass music and I can barely form sentences because all I want to do is dance!!

I'm a dancing machine. I could just about dance anywhere at any time. But don't expect me to do any steppin' because these feet just don't play that way. But a good foot tapping and head bobbing is in store at all times. Even at work if you are lucky. Which I heard you were...

I'm socially retarded. That may not be the "right" way to say it but I've come to the conclusion that this name is a true and steadfast one because it becomes ever so prominent when I'm supposed to be "mingling" and instead I just people watch, because really, what's more fun than watching some weird old lady with blue hair and different shoes on walk her dog and feed it hot dogs????

I'm easily excitable. I don't think that this is a surprise to anyone though. You have probably figured out if I can write about nothing for 10 posts in a row then I've got to be easily excitable. If you don't get excited about a blue haired lady with different shoes then is life really worth living? I just don't know... I just don't know.

I'm pretty sure that's enough. You totally thought I was going to write yet another paragraph about myself, huh? Well I sure tricked you!!! Done - I'm tricky!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you my little tricked out bitches,
Erica Putis

Blue hair you, Blue hair me.

2007-09-24T22:55:00.000-07:00

Yo homies!!! What's up?? I know, I know... I haven't written in a while. I actually have a valid excuse. My 6 year old computer died. I know... Who would have thought? And I swear I'm not lying. You can ask QofD or Greggoconnell.com. Actually I have Greggoconnell.com to thank for this post. With out him and his computer savvy self I wouldn't have been able to write this nice drunken blog. Just kidding... or am I??? Well whatever conclusion you come too, I can guarntee that the wait for this entry was well worth it. All those days slaving over a hot stove and dreaming about EAP has come to an end. Here is the end all of be all's of all entries.

I have blue hair. And I'm not talking about "down there" hair. Just the regular hair that's on my head. Now I have gone through stages of "streaks" and "perms" but I have to admit that "blue" hair is by far the best. (Do you enjoy my quotes as much as I do? Have you figured out if I'm drinking or not??) The best thing about this blue hair is that I feel like Superman. Not the movie Superman but the comic strip Superman. You know what I mean... The blue haired Superman. There is no way that he got that color from his home planet. I'm pretty sure it was from this colorist in LA who charges $200 for it. That shit's not cheap. And I'm also pretty sure he had his gay best friend tell him that it was worth the money... But you don't see him getting blue hair. What the fuck? Is he trying to make Superman look like an asshole so that the guys at the gay club will dance with him instead?????

Damn caddy bitches...

Oh... So yeah... I died the ends of my hair blue. But the best thing about it is that it turned navy blue and my hair is dark brown so you can't really tell. So that means I can wear my hair down to work and if someone notices it I can just make them feel like they may be going color blind. Because who doesn't want to make their coworkers feel color blind???

Blind bitch bats are beautiful, (say that 3 times in a row and you win a prize.)
Erica from The Predicates (because I'm a rockstar now...I have blue hair... Duh.)

Will we be stuck in bed???

2007-09-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

So, I've been shit loads of busy lately, you know with relaxing over Labor Day weekend and haven't found the time to write in this lovely little space. I started getting complaints from a bunch of you. (Ok - maybe just 2 of you - a girl can dream... Sometimes I dream about rainbows and unicorns and then I think to myself, what a minute - I'm not Rainbow Bright, silly!!) So I half jokingly asked my good friend Matt if he wanted to guest post and wouldn't you know he did!! Not only is it short and sweet, it's also the best post I've...ur... Matt has ever written. So give it up to the one and only, deep thoughts by Matt Handy:

I've been thinking lately that our oil addiction is becoming scary. Aren't we gonna run out someday? And what goes back down into the earth to compensate for all of that thick, heavy, crude oil. What if the planet gets too light? Will that affect our orbital path or revolution trend? If so the weather will definitely become more volatile. Gravity could be altered and we will either float out of bed or be stuck on it unable to overcome the force of our new super gravity. Scary stuff!! Then while listening to Howard Stern, Robin Quivers came up with the best possible solution- "Walk to work Thursdays!!"
Bad blogging at its best! -Matt

Not bad blogging at all Matt!!! Good stuff for the mind and soul!!! My heart is now warm with thoughts of oil and gravity...

Erica

He know's what I'm talkin' about...

2007-08-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

You see this picture here? This little ol' bagel? Well, yeah... I'm pretty sure it came from heaven.

If you don't know what I mean then you don't know anything. Well... you may know lots of things but you don't know anything about a low carb diet.

Things I've learned while trying not to eat processes carbs:

1: I love you bread
2: Bagels are from heaven
3: Chocolate (dark) is made to savor in an almost orgasmic way

In this time of trying to get healthy for bathing suit season, I've realized that I don't have as strong as will power as I thought. I swore I would never be one (I totally just wrote "bee won" haha...) of those bloggers who writes about what she had for lunch but you know what? When you aren't eating god damn carbs you have a god given right to talk about all the wonderful Wonder Bread you ate. Fuck you guys!! This is my blog.

So I might have eaten a whole bag of hot fries... You know what I mean... It's those cruchy fries that Cheetos make that force me to say, "Holy hell, these are hot!!" about 3 times. That's pretty hot for a girl like me. I used to never be able to eat anything spice hot. Now I fucking love it... It's slightly like drug... It releases endorphins I never even knew I had!!

In conclusion, if you are on a low carb diet, just fucking eat a cheeseburger once and a while because I think we all need to get a little closer to heaven.

God loving/fearing,
EAP

Typing feva.

2007-08-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

A little something weird. A little something strange. A little something out of date.

My work bought me a typewriter.

That's right. You heard me right. A fucking typewriter.

Apparently someone was annoyed that I was on the internet all day reading blogs when they had to manually type something so, as I have mentioned before, I got a typewriter.

The last time I typed on an actual typewriter was probably when I was 10 years old and my Mom had this gray metal one that she tried to get me to do typing tests on. I would type:

ff jj kk ll ;; dd ss aa fj kl ;d sa fuck you mother fucker i cant do this im only 10

And of course it would be without looking. Because if you looked you were a "pecker". Not a penis-pecker but a "pecker" because you used two fingers to type everything. Now that I'm older I see that the "pecker" can type as fast or faster than I can. Pretty fucking amazing actually. So I'm left with the question... Do you think it was necessary to learn the 10 finger typing ritual, or would we be better off pecking? With all the text messaging and shit I kinda wish I was a "pecker"...

Who's with me on saying "pecker" a lot??????

So, back to my story.... I got a typewriter at work and I was so inspired by the clicks and return button, I wrote this. Which is just the picture at the top but larger so you can read it. And believe me... It's worth it. Especially for a blogger... You could learn a lot from a 10 fingered typer like me who feels the power of beyond to write the shortest book ever written. (And exactly why am I not in the Guinness Book of World Records???)

Where's my fucking brandy? (Cherry flavored brandy with suffice, thank you.)

Erica Putis novelist extrordinare

I like, You like, We all like.

2007-07-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

Because I don't feel like thinking too much and I need to make time to drink the rest of my wine I've decided to do another faithful list.

I know you are very excited because I'm excited and what I say goes. Alright bitch??? Good. So for no reason at all I'm going to list some things I like and dislike. I may have done this a long time ago but no one reads my archives and if you have then, fuck you!! Just KIDDING!!! Read my fucking archive!!! There's some great - or lame, depending on your mood - stuff there.

I like when I feel the need to torcher myself in the shower and turn the water either really hot or really cold. My soul burns and I feel alive baby!!!
I like to sit in front of a window fan but then dislike when I get cold and need to wear a sweater in the middle of summer.
I like Werther's Originals and when I'm eating them I wish that everything tasted like one.
I like to say ticka, ticka, ticka like Dr. Evil. (That was Dr. Evil, right?)
I also like to talk to myself and my dog in an English cockney old man voice. My dog likes it too. I swear.
I don't like to Tequila.
I like (love) Vodka and I also really like calling it vo-dee-ka like that 90's hiphop song were they say, "vodika, bodaida, vodika, bodaida" Anyone??? Anyone???
My car is really dirty again and I wish some one would write fag mobile on my window again. (the only post I have ever done a meme) I guess that means I like fags and mobiles...
I dislike memes.
I just got a webcam and it's really hightech and moves around and shit and I'm pretty sure it's one of those robot dogs in the puppy stage. I also named it Tink. And I like that.
I dislike long posts so this is were I will stop, even though I like writing these bullets because when are bullets not fun? I guess they wouldn't be too fun if they were, like, a real bullet or something. Unless you were shooting at tin cans. Because I think that might be fun and it bring out the hick in me that I've always tried to cover up. But I don't think I would listen to country music while I was shooting tin cans because that would just be over kill.... Really.

So there you have it. I know you have been waiting all week for this list and now you can have sweet dreams about candy corn and rabbits.

EAP

I never knew the weather could be so exciting

2007-07-25T22:57:00.000-07:00

I never said I was smart. I never said I, "watch the news." I never said that I'm smart and watch the news.

It's true. I would prefer watching Scrubs to the local news. And do you know why? It's about 10% that the weather guy/girl are trying to make San Diego's weather exciting, about 30% that they are talking about negative body-cutter-uppers, and about 60% that, obvious to everyone, that all the news casters really want, is to just get it on.

And by on - I mean "ON."

I was watching a woman and a man (it could have been a man and a man - or a woman and a woman but it wasn't. Just because it wasn't doesn't mean that I don't approve of gay newscasters. OK? Get off my fucking back already!) at the end of the news and I swear I could see fireworks. It was like the fucking Fourth of July on NBC. There was teasing and some giggling and maybe even some pinching. Ok - maybe there was no pinching but I bet as soon as the camera was off they had there hands on each others private parts.

It was that obvious.

So what I propose is that if you are a newscaster and you feel the need to get it on with your fellow newscaster, just lay it all out. It's ok to kiss on TV right? How much more exciting would the news be if you saw you favorite newscaster having a good make out session on national TV? That is, if only you aren't one of those obsessed people who have crushes on the weather girl and someday hope to have babies with her and go through her garbage and have a night vision lens on your camera...

So I'm sending out a memo. Make out or get out!!! Get it, got it good!! Cut it out!!! (like Joey from Full House? Anyone??????)

Damn I need a newscaster make out session,

Erica-miss-lonely-watching-TV-by-herself-
with-a-screwdriver-and-her-dog

Chimps or birds??

2007-07-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

If you could be any animal, what would you be? I just got done watching a show on PBS about chimpanzees and I'd have to say it was fucking amazing. Whether you believe in evolution or not, it's crazy the similarities between humans and chimps.

They like to eat, I like to eat. They like to squawk at the top of their lungs, I like to squawk at the top of my lungs. They like to groom each other, I like to groom myself. They make tools, I act like a tool. It really quite uncanny.

So I was thinking that if I had to be an animal I might want to be a chimp because it's kinda like a human but without all the drama. Don't get me wrong... They have drama but at least they don't snap their fingers and say, "talk to the hand." Right? And I wouldn't have to worry about wearing make-up and shit. Actually - I take that back... I'm kinda of a girly-girl and like wearing make-up. But just because I'm a girly-girl doesn't mean I can't kick some mad ass!!! Mad chimpanzee ass!!! So back off bitch!! Haha...

But then sometimes I'll have dreams where I'll be a bird, flying high without the aid of drugs... I'll just be floating away like a sappy, happy love bird. (no - I'm not having sex in the air in my dream - I mean "love bird" like, "I love the world" hippie bird. An asexual hippie bird. WAIT!!! Birds don't have sex, silly!!) When you fly in your dreams it's quite thrilling. You wake up feeling like you can take on the world.

So if I HAD to pick, which one would I choose? A womanly chimp or a hippie birdie?

I think I might have to go with the bird because if I've learned anything from my childhood, it's that Sesame Street's Big Bird is way over do for a make over. And I'm not talking about some blush here... I'm talking about a Ms. Big Bird. So move over gay Big Bird - I've got something meatier!! I'm strong, yellower, a bird and ALL woman.

Are you all with me? Is the world ready for a Ms. Big Bird?

Delusional and very weird,
EAP

Saving the World With Coffee

2007-07-09T22:41:00.000-07:00

I'm no Kristi with her witty banter, but when my stomach, mind and bladder have a conversation, I can't ignore them:

Mind: You know what would be fun? Alllllllllright!!! You got it...

Bladder: No - PLEASE don't do it. You know how annoyed I get when you do that, right?

Mind: Stop being such a fucking pussy. And anyway, I'm stronger than you and I can do what I want. You just have to fucking deal.

Bladder: God - you are such a prick. Did you know that?

Mind: Ummm, yeah, but I'm a prick so I don't give a shit. Good - I'm glad we are cool now...

Bladder: Well, we aren't really "cool now" but whatever.

Mind: I'm so excited... I love how coffee makes me feel. I'm pretty sure I'm king of the world and who doesn't want to be king of the world at work?? I'M THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN!!!

Bladder: You are such an ass.

Mind: Yum... It smells so good. And with creamer and sugar, it's basically like heaven... Heaven with coffee... And sugar... Oh... and caffeine. Did mention that it makes me feel buzzed at work??

Bladder: You are going to regret you ever did this, man.

Mind: Holy shit - it taste like coffee ice cream!!!

Stomach: Um... HELLO?????

Mind: Oh, Hi...

Stomach: Did you forget all about me?

Mind: Um... Maybe - I'm trying to get a buzz at work... Why should I remember you?

Stomach: Because I'm starting to feel like shit and it's all your fault.

Bladder: I know!!!! Now I have to pee and she doesn't give a rat's ass about you or I. I can't believe how insensitive she is... Right?

Mind: Oh my god... I can totally type, like, really fast and write really witty comments on blogs. And I think when I get home I'm going to do something creative... then I'm going to clean the bathroom, and then I'm going to do the dishes and then I'm going to write an entry in my blog...

Stomach: There she goes again... God - all she thinks about is herself.

Bladder: I know!! She hasn't even let me pee yet and she knows how much I hate that...

Stomach: Maybe if we start pinching her, she will do something for us... Like stop drinking coffee or something.

Bladder: Yeah!! We need to join forces and take over this bitch!!

Stomach: Hells yeah!! You give her a bladder infection and I'll give her an ulcer and see how she likes them cookies...

Mind: Oh my god, did you see that lady... Oh my god, I could totally take her. I mean - I'm not violent or anything but If I had too... I totally could... Hahahahahhahahahahah... Oh god - I love caffeine. Man - my belly hurts and I kinda have to pee... What the fuck? Can't a girl have a cup of coffee without any bitches nagging me??? Hahhahahahahah.... I just called my bladder and stomach, bitches!! Hahahahhaha.... I love coffee...

So I peed like a champ and howled with pain. Then I laughed and wrote some comments that were funny in my head. Then I told myself I would never drink coffee again... Unless, of course, I NEEDED it...

I love caffeine,
Erica dumbass

Love is Blind

2007-06-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

I might have taken a blogger vacation when my pup got hurt but now... I'm just on mo-foe vacation. That's right. I'm sitting at home, chillin' and relaxing, spent all day maxin'... (Sorry - did I totally fuck up Summertime from Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff??)

Well, anyway, I was rollin' in my 4.0 and started to get a tan on my right arm. I'm down with the right side tan. Nothing wrong with a tan that prefers the company of my right arm more than my left arm. I just wish my tan wasn't so fucking prejudice sometimes, you know?? But what is more exciting than my tan is this fake tattoo I was sporting at the time. That's right. I'm not ashamed. It was easily one of the coolest tattoos I've ever gotten. It was a heart with two actual faces on it and it said, "Love is Blind" Hells yeah!!!!!!!!! I told you it was awesome!! I might have loved the tattoo so much that I ask the massage therapist not to rub it off with her sweet love oil. Haha... Sweet love oil.... Haha... That would be a good name for something. I would say it would be good for a band name but I just don't think it would be... Right? (Man - I have got to stop second guessing myself - I kinda makes me look less self confident, right?? Damn it - I did it again. Sake - WHERE ARE YOU???????)

So when the fake kick ass tattoo finally rubbed off I was left with a very pleasant surprise. That's right - A heart tan!!!! Sure - everyone "hearts" a tan but does a tan ever heart someone??

I know, you guys can't even contain your excitement in this phenomenon. I could barely either. But now that I've had it for a couple of days I'd have to say I'm owning this shit better than a motorcycle dude with tats covering his entire body. (And I mean ENTIRE - even his peepee... Actually, I don't know if that's even allowed... Is it?) So I've decided when I go to the beach tomorrow I'm going to tape a peice of paper in the shape of a heart to make it even more pronounced. Is that weird? Do you think anyone will notice?

So if you happen to be at the beach tomorrow and you see a girl who has a piece of paper stuck to her arm, just pretend you don't know her. Because really... Who wants to be seen with a paper-heart-wearing-fake-tattoo-girl?? Not me!!!

Later working biz-niches!!
Erica

Tight jeans sugar...

2007-06-17T22:22:00.000-07:00

Ok - so there are cool people everywhere. Why, hell, there are even cool people on the internet! I know it sounds a little crazy but if you are the Queen of Dysfunction, Captain Smack, Travis or the Boob Lady, you know exactly what I'm talking about. (yes - that was a compliment, guys. Your welcome.)

I actually know a lot of "cool" people in real life too. Like rock star cool. I'm not saying I'm cool by association or anything, but some people just have "it." Like Simon Cowell says... I wish some of their coolness rubbed off on me but to no avail I'm still watching from the side lines wishing I had enough courage to get a cool tattoo or piercing. (QofD - I had no idea you have your hooha pierced!!!! Can I see pictures sometime? Ok, ok... maybe she doesn't have her hooha pierced but wouldn't that be cool if she did?)

Anyway, let's steer away from the topic of QofD's hooha to someone else ching-a-ling-dong. That's right - I'm talking about the new breed of indie rockers with their retro 1980's tight ass jeans. Or should I say, tight packaged jeans...

For some reason all these boys are wearing extremely tight, black, tapered leg jeans. Sure they look kinda cute after a couple of shots and some sweet talking, but what I think about more often is along the lines of... let's just say his baby making machine. A couple of months ago my friend was talking to her Mom about how in the eighties, the guys and girls would where such tight jeans that there would be consequences. When a Mom says the word, "consequences" everyone sits up and listens. Obviously the girls would get UTI's and bladder infections but the boys??? They had it much worse. Their baby machines would stop working!!!!! Those are the pants that makes the babies go away!!!!

Now- keep in mind that I have done tons (meaning zero) research on this and have come to the conclusion that if you need to be "cool" and you happen to be a boy, that maybe, just maybe you shouldn't wear really tight jeans. Because you know... How would you feel when you are shooting blanks and it was all because you wanted to look cool??? Just get a tattoo bitch!!!!!

Just jealous,
Erica AP

Awesomeness Prevails!

2007-06-11T23:01:00.001-07:00

I'm totally giggling right now. Like really giggling... It kinda makes me blush. Haha... Just kidding. I don't get embarrassed when I'm alone. Duh!!

I have a confession. I sat down to write an entry after 2 weeks off and do you know what I did? I picked up my note pad. This is no ordinary note pad. This one has got lines on it... No - I'm not a coke addict... The only thing I'm addicted to is BLOGGING... Oh and wine... Oh and maybe a little bit of chocolate. But my addiction to blogging is far worse.

You might think my confession is blogging, but it's not. It's the process in which I get to the outcome of my wondrous words of blogging. That's right. I'm a total dork and have a fucking note pad with ideas for entries. Haha... This may not be weird to you writers out there but for me it's pretty freaking funny because... You know... I'm not really a writer. My little notebook is filled with one liners that could possibly lead to a whole entry. And there are quite a few of them that I don't even know what they mean. Let's take for instance "Jimmy Fallon = Stowie". We all know Jimmy Fallon and if you've been reading my blog you know that Stowie is my pup but what do they have in common? Beats the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure I was watching SNL, looked at Stow and started laughing... And I'm assuming I was drinking. Maybe... Just maybe...

Anyway... I've decided that I'm fucking funny once again. Haha... I proclaimed to be funny when I got an awesome review from italk2much.com but now, it's just self proclamation. After reading though my nicely lined notepad and giggling like Mike Myers as Dieter on SNL, I've decided that I can't go wrong. I don't think that my blogs will ever get stale or old with the material I've gathered from late nights with Sex and the City and 2 glasses of wine. How could anyone go wrong?

Ok -maybe I am wrong. Maybe I should have used one of my one liners instead of writing about how fucking awesome I am... Haha... You guys know that I'm not that much of an egomaniac right?????? Really I'm not. I swear on my little lined notebook. :)

Too cool for school,
Erica

P.S. Thanks for all the kind word, advice and donations for Stow... He is recovering like a champ and I'm awestruck at how awesome you guys are. :)

God damn real life

2007-05-30T15:19:00.000-07:00

I know it's crazy, but I'm actually human and have problems and feelings outside of this blog. So with that said - I'm skipping a week because my dog got attacked by a dog 10 times his size and is in the hospital. And although writing in this thing isn't top priority, it also isn't the last thing on my mind. The last thing on my mind would be something like... Thinking about how scared I would be if I had to get on a shuttle and go into outer space, because we all know I'm no astronaut and I don't plan on doing that. But if I did?? Now, that would be fucking scary - It would probably would be one of the first things on my mind actually.

So send some good thoughts to him and be thankful for a week off from me. Even I need a vacation from myself. :)

Later,
EAP

Pumpin' some Tool

2007-05-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

This is something I shouldn't get so hyped up about but fuck it. I did and now I'm writing about. I drove through a fast food joint (no - it wasn't Wienerschnitzel) and I decided to park and eat in the parking lot so that I didn't have to drive like a freaking maniac while eating the best burrito that fast food can offer. So while parked and listening to my favorite tunes a girl and a boy come up to my window and want to talk to me.

OK. I can fucking talk to someone for a minute but when she starts going on about how the Lord would bless me and send me to Heaven if I gave her some money for food I get a little pissed.

I guess I should have some compassion for people like this but you know what? I don't. I get more pissed off than when my favorite song doesn't come on the radio. When Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone" is not blaring on my speakers I get pissed. Haha...

Actually, I just get pissed because you don't see me fucking begging for money. I work 2 freaking jobs to support myself and sometimes I don't have money for groceries. Those 2 bucks that I spent on fast food was a fucking treat. That's right begging-bitches. Go get yourself a fucking job or 2 or 3... That's what I've done and I get pissed that someone has the gall to ask me for the money that I've spent working 70 hours for.

Ok... So now that I've ranted for a bit, I'm going to go and crucify myself for being such a selfish bitch.

You can call me self righteous hoe bag if you want... I don't give a shit.

What I do give a shit about is eating my veggie bean burrito in peace, in my car, with a little bit of Tool pumpin' on my Toyota Corolla factory made speakers.

So if you don't like what I'm dealin' then I suggest you go to the next Black Jack table. Thank you for your time and I hope to see you in the future.

Parking with my only lover, Mr. Burrito,
Erica AP

It's a little pink and a little rubbery

2007-05-15T23:20:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just wanted a fucking hot dog? A greasy, hot, grilled hot dog? Why does this item have to be made with all the things that are half real and half pig?? Why does something so bad for you, have to taste and smell so god damn good?

Fuck you Wienerschnitzel!!!

If you don't know what this is, you are better off. When I move to CA I had no idea what this was. It sounds German and dirty at the same time!!! Who names their restaurant Wienerschnitzel? For those of you that don't know what this is, it is a fast food hot dog joint. And not only does it serve the yummy/disgusting hot dog, it is housed in a triangle. The building is red and yellow and the roof extends to the freaking ground. So not only do you get your dose of Yellow #5 in your food, you get your dose of an extremely obnoxious building to look at while you are waiting for your nasty chili dog. I didn't even know that people put chili on their hot dogs. God - American's are the most creative fucking people I know. God bless us. Haha...

So I actually didn't really have a point to this post other than that I'm pissed that hot dogs are so bad for us. With all that pork and beef you would thing that SOMETHING good had to come out of it (like protein or... or something) but it seems like the only good thing that comes out of it is that it's kinda falic looking and that's pretty freaking funny. Eating a falic symbol, plain and simple, is pretty fucking hilarious... And gross... And disturbing... And kinda funny. Did I say that already?? AAAaaahhh....

So when you go to the grocery store and are thinking about getting some Oscar Myer Winners, just be reminded of all the creative American's that decided that putting chilly, pastrami and anything else that is full of fat on top of the food we call a staple, because what would the world be without a pink, rubbery, treat that let's you live out all your Bobbitt fantasies??? Haha... Was that taking the joke too far?

I guess I'll never know because I won't change this post even if I get hate mail. (Where's my god damn hate mail, already??)

Cheese dog lover,
Erriiccaa

Nerd Style Power to the People

2007-05-07T22:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think that I would rather live in a world of fantasy than reality. Sometimes living your life vicariously through someone else is the fucking way to go.

I often find myself in a happy alter-reality when I smell, hear or see something. I swear I'm not crazy... I'm just... special... Haha... My mom told me that special people make the world go round and who am I to question that??

Exactly.

So I've decided to try to figure out a way to live in this dream state at all times. You could become a write who lives in their head... Or you could be a movie buff who watched movies 24-7... Or you could listen to music through those little-huge fucking headphones, that never fit in my ears, all day long.

Right now you would think that I would have a solution to this problem but because I'm such a great writer I'm keeping you on your feet and leave you with a question: What do you think about supernovas?

Haha... I just laughed Revenge of the Nerds style and I'm proud of it. And, also, I'm imagining that I'm in that movie as that cute black gay guy with the scarves and on the sound track singing nerd-o-licious songs and I also wrote the god damn script for it. So I guess in my own way I have solved my riddle. All you have to do it write, star in and sing a hit single from a cult-nerd-favorite and you will feel more fulfilled than when you ate that whole chocolate mouse pie and said that your roommate ate it.

And do you know whats even better than chocolate mouse pie?? Boston cream pie.

Hells yeah.

Pie lovin' nerd lover,
Erica

Healthy Americans Do It Right!

2007-04-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

I was sitting eating lunch like every healthy American should and I saw this guy walking. No big deal, right? Just a guy walking around - on his way to the local coffee shop or hairdressers, but there is something a little odd about him. Just a little...

He's carrying a bag. Not just any bag. A fucking black trash bag. A 10 gallon, black, plastic, with the red pull strings, trash bag. And it wasn't full. Oh no... I was about 1/3 full.

What does this mean??? What was he carrying???

I can understand if he was collecting bottles or something but wouldn't you know it, he walked right by the trash cans... Actually I think he steered clear of the trash cans. And why do you think that is?

I believe he was carrying body parts. I know.... Completely creepy and crazy but if you live around here you would understand. About a month or two ago there where some body parts found on the side of the highway and I don't believe they ever found the killer.

What if... what if that guy was the body-cutter-upper? What if that guy walking with a 1/3 half full trash bag was carrying some fingers and a head?? What if he just wanted to go to the coffee shop and drink his coffee in peace but I followed him in there and accused him of being a serial killer and when the cops came and opened the bag they realized that he was just carrying his smelly clothes from the gym because he had spilled his energy drink in he normal gym bag and really just went to the coffee shop to give him a boost because he had to go to his girlfriends house for a fun filled night of lovin'? What if I never wrote a run on sentence ever again?? How would we all feel if run on sentences and 1/3 half full trash bags were pseudonymous with crazy girls on their lunch breaks with over active imaginations????

I'm pretty sure the world would end as we know it... And that's no laughing matter.

So next time you see a guy walking with a trash bag, make sure you stop and ask him whether he is carrying heads or sweaty boxers because that would probably make a big difference in the police report.

Erriiccaa

PS: My Blogger Idol interview is here for your listening pleasure. :)

I don't, I won't, I swear...

2007-04-22T22:04:00.000-07:00

Because list are pretty cool and it seems to be something that bloggers do, I'm just going to list a bunch of things I don't want to do. Plan and simple. For no fucking reason other than that it amuses me. That's ok with you, right?? And of course I don't care if it's ok with you because as we all know, I'm going to do it anyway.

1: I don't want to live in this house.

2: I would prefer not to work at a sewage plantation and smell like pooh all the time.

3: I would rather go for a ride in this rather than this.

4: I don't ever want to jump out of a plane for fun because, seriously, how fun would it be if you jumped out and after 3 seconds your parachute didn't open... Probably not that fun....

5: Sometimes I think I would want to do this but instead end up doing this.

6: I think it would suck more to have to live through the ice age then live through global warming... Of course only if you believe in it. If you don't, then that's cool... We can just pretend that #6 doesn't exits. Just like the dinosaurs.

7: I hope, if I ever decide to birth something that it never looks like this. Ummmmm.... Yeah...

8: I think that if I ever had to be a pedicure person I would make a sign that said if you have nasty feet you are not allowed past this line. In which there will be a yellow duct taped line where they will not be able to cross. Not sure where this line will be, but I can assure you - you DO NOT want to cross it.

9: I don't want to do this because not only would it suck to bruise my tail bone again but I'm pretty sure I'd be cold all the time. In case you didn't know, skaters skate on ice which is water frozen at a very cold temperature.

10: And the 10th thing I don't want to do is sit in a office all day, because do you know what happens when you sit in an office all day? This happens. Yup - your ass become fat.

My goodness - that was one of the most trying entries ever... But now not only do you have insight into some of my fears, you can now add on to your own fears, because I'm so fucking good at making people a little more crazier than I am. Like it or not, I've sucked you in like an alien from the original Star Trek. (yes - it's on TV right now and I'm not ashamed)

Love you, my little lovely lamp lighters?,?,?,

Erica

You think you are so smart, huh??

2007-04-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

I have a small bladder... Maybe it's a girl thing but I don't think so. When I was in Junior High I had a couple of friends (believe it or not) and they called me Peanut because I had to pee all the time. I wouldn't really call that a nickname but if you really think it is - ok. I guess at the time "Peanut" was better than "Loser" so if you still wanted to call me that today, I probably wouldn't mind. I mean "Peanut" not "Loser." If you call me "Loser" I'm bound by the laws as the badass I proclaim to be to come find you and kick your ass. But just to let you know I'm a non-violent person so my version of kick your ass would probably entail me getting you some bottled water from your fridge and maybe some chocolate and then after you have drank it all I would bop you on the head with it. DONE!!! I'm a fucking badass... Deal with it bitch!!

So... you might be thinking, what the fuck is this post about anyway? I know she's not going to beat me up and pee on me while eating peanuts... Or am I?????

No - I guess my problem is not with the peeing per say, but with the soap I have to wash my hand with afterwards. Of course I'm talking about my work bathroom soap. It smells ok, it works ok, but once and a while someone will be cheap and water down the fucking soap!!! I can't even tell you how much this grosses me out. Well, actually I can because that's what I'm doing now...

I'm just a LITTLE germ-a-phobic and I have this notion that when soap is watered down that it's got tons of germs in it... Haha... I know it might sound a bit ridiculous, but think about it... The cleaning lady comes in and realizes she's out of soap. She's a problem solver who used to be in on the math team in high school so she decides to add water so it will last longer. What she doesn't know, is that germs are in water!!! So not only do the germs have a party in the soap container, they are also getting trashed at a frat party all over my fucking hands!! Just like that Mucus commercial where the green guys party all day and all night.

Damn Harold (that's what I call the Mucus guy)... He keeps filling my head with these crazy germ thoughts and all he does is sit back and have a good laugh at me. That bastard. Someday when I meet him I'm going to kick him right in the nads. Haha... I just wrote nads... Haha...

So until that day, Mr. Harold, I'll be holding my breath... well, not really but it sounds like I'm hardcore though, huh? Hells yeah!!!!!!!!!

Water-bottle-smacker,

Erica

I'm ashamed - very ashamed...

2007-04-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

Damn you... Damn you and all your games and good writers. Yeah - I'm talking you, Mr. and Mrs. I'm So Awesome. You're the one who's making me this, this... this pimping-out-whore. I can't help myself. Once and while the whoreness come out and just needs to be written about...

First off - blogger idol - What the fuck are you doing, trying to make me famous?? Don't you know I can't handle that kind of pressure? I mean - the judging and ass kissing are just too much for a girl like me to handle... And me, competing against some of my favorite writers?? Are you trying to make me turn against my only internet friends I have? Damn you to hell, be-atch!! I'm strong and can handle it, and because I've declared myself the rebel in the competition, I'm going to tell you that I actually don't give a shit if I win... It's an ass kissing, biased show and I don't even really want to be apart of it... But if for some strange reason you guys want to vote for me, I guess I would be ok with that... But it's not like I really care or anything... Fuck... Where's my stress ball???

And here I am - whoring myself out again... this recorder and producer is just too fucking awesome that I feel cheap just talking about. Yes... He takes my music and my bands music to levels only the ocean floor can understand, but sometimes I just don't know whether to rejoice with love or scream in fear of his awesomeness... Damn you for making me a pimping-out-whore...

And you know what, Mr. and Mr. Atomic?? I know that I'm a rock star that can't be bothered with any kind of interview, but I'd have to say out of all the Rolling Stone's interviews I've done - yours has got to be one of the best... And what do I do??? I fucking pimp you out... Why, you say? Because you are the next Carson Daly. Plain and simple, you guys are tan, skinny and know how to ask some god damn great questions.

Now that I feel used and abused - I just want you to know that I only pimped and whored myself out for the good of mankind. I would add tons of other, but my urge to sit in the fetal position with the shower on cold and "My Name is Luca" blaring on the stereo it just too hard to ignore...

So, because I'm a rebel rock star - go fucking vote for me OR your favorite blog on Blogger Idol, tell people to record with the master of masters and read how bassass I really am in my interview.

I'm crying and holding my teddy bear and he's telling me to come to bed... Bastard - always telling me what to do...

I love you, my heart and soul of my ego...

Erica AP

There's a cougar on the loose!

2007-04-02T22:38:00.002-07:00

I used to love tigers. I used to have this long poster on my wall of an orange tiger and a white tiger lying next to each other. I'm not sure if they were "just friends" or "lovers" but I loved the picture anyway. Maybe that's why I've decided to become a cougar.

Do you even know what a cougar is? I didn't until I saw that commercial about someone's boyfriend being hit on by one, but it was really his mom. But I don't really want to be a mom who hits on her son, (that's really disturbing) but I think I'm going to start dating younger guys. Actually - the reality of it is - is that I've never dated anyone older than me. Is that weird or am I just rockin' the cradle of love? Or is it robbing the cradle of love? What the fuck does a cradle have to do with this at all anyway? It's not like I want to date a fucking 3 year old. A 19 year old, maybe... A 12 year old - no thank you.

But unfortunately when you date someone, sometimes the 12 year old comes out and all of a sudden you realize you are dating a "man" but this "man" should really be in junior high. Maybe this is just a "girl post" or something. (don't you love the quotes? I could quote everything if it makes you that happy... It kinda makes me happy, so I'm going to keep doing it for myself... That's right!! I'm selfish!! It's like I'm in high school and we are talking about that cute guy who would never even look at me but I had a huge crush on... Charlie... Did I say that outloud?? Shit - he's probably a fucking looser now anyway...) But sometimes even when I meet older guys they seem to be the same 12 year old that I've dated before. Why do all these guys want to be taken care of and play video games all day? I really have nothing against video games, per say... But it's more of the being taken care of thing that creeps me out. Why do I have to be your Mom and sleep with you??? If I wanted to be a Mom I would have a freaking baby.

So maybe I don't want to be a cougar. Unless this cute non-gay model comes up to me and is like, "You are one sexy be-atch and I don't see any wrinkles so do want to go to the zoo and see the tigers?" In that case, I may just say it's ok. Again - as long as he's not gay and at least 19 years old. Oh - and he can't live with his mom because how fucking weird would that be if I came over for dinner and found out his mom is my age... UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

I take it back. I've decided I just need a sugar daddy that's about to die so that I can live a fulfilling rich life with myself and my dog. Because I think we all know that my dog is really the only boyfriend I need. (Don't you dare think dirty thoughts...)

So I really admire the Demi Moore's of the world but I think I'll stick to the life style that only a nice Catholic girl would have...

Wanna-be-cradle-rocker,

Errrrrrrrrricaaaa

Suck it up tan monster!!!

2007-03-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been watching TV late at night and have been subjected to those commercials that could be infomercials, and feel like they last an hour but really are only a minute long?

The ones I'm talking about are the ever so tempting weight loss commercials. I can't be the only one with basic cable, who doesn't have a DVR and a strong drive to watch TV until all hours of the night. I can't be the only one who is watching old reruns of Scrubs and South Park but am a little bit more drawn into the infomercials than the actual shows.

You wonder, "How the hell can that be, Erica??? Scrubs is funny as hell and South Park?? Do I even need to explain?" But my retort is, "Have you ever really watched one of those fucking commercials?"

No - I don't think you have.

Let me explain what I see. I see a picture a bottle with some cute little pills that will make you lose 500 pounds and make you really fucking tan and also turn you into a transvestite! Who would have know that when you take these pills, not only do you lose weight, you become a man who's had a sex change! Sign me fucking up!!! I love looking like a orange lady on the outside and a man lady in the Adams Apple area. And possibly the genitally area...

Maybe what the creators or producers of this commercial do is, hold open auditions but hone in on the manly/womanly types so they can do before and after pictures. Before = normal over weight American lady. After = Male transvestite wearing the same freakin' clothes but with their firm muscles and toned abs rippling through their shirts.

Now, I'm a girl. I know that it's basically impossible for a woman to get abs like that unless you were born.... A man.

Done and Done. That's what I believe and that's the side of coleslaw that I'm sticking with. (Yes- I actually sometimes like coleslaw.... Although, if I'm at KFC the mac and cheese and mash potatoes are to die for... But don't actually go killing yourself for them because they aren't THAT good. But the popcorn chicken?? That's is fucking awesome. But who even knows if it's really chicken... Right? I thought it was call Animal 51 or something... Man... Fuck you!! Now I can't even eat there any more because all I'm going to think about is how I'm eating chicken that was grown with out a head...)

So, I guess what I'm asking is, do you think that these actors are like stunt doubles and really posing as women when they are men, or do you really think they are the real deal? I need to know or I won't be able to sleep tonight. Well, after this glass of wine I'll probably be able to sleep pretty well, but I'll be losing a minute of my thought process and that is a very precious minute because in that minute I was planing on taking over the world and making everyone rich in the process...

That's right... I care for everyone on the planet. I know... I'm the nicest girl you've ever met. I can't help it my parent raised me right... The only thing I would change is I'd get rid of those fucking commercials.

Fake-tan-lotion-user-in-hiding,

Erica AP

Rubbery Eggs for Everyone!!!

2007-03-19T22:46:00.000-07:00

I've decided to be more healthy. I buy fresh veggies and I've even got a freakin' egg white separator so that I can have Richard Simmons breakfast sandwiches in the morning. Sometimes he coaches me along while I make it. He says, "Ok Erica, now really crack that egg like you mean it and get that bad yoke out of there!!! You got it!!! Keep doing it!!! That yoke hates you anyway!!! Kick it to the curb, girl!!!" Well, maybe he's not in my kitchen egging me on (pun intended - laugh track) to crack eggs like only a sexy French cook should. But he should be...

So I crack my eggs and I'm doing good until I put them in the microwave. Yes, I cook my eggs in the microwave because I DO NOT cook. Cooking is basically like slow water toucher, except that it's not slow, and you have to run around the kitchen like a bat out of hell. (that's kind of a weird saying, huh? Bat out of hell... Why did he get out and what was he there for anyway? Maybe he was a good bat and knew he shouldn't be there so he found an underground tunnel that lead to my kitchen? But I don't think I could cook - even in a microwave - if there was a bat in my kitchen... Even if he was a good bat.) So my eggs are cooking and getting nice and fluffy when I hear a loud, "POP" and "BOOM." I think, "Are the heaven's raining down???" But then I realize that it's just my eggs exploding. Damn microwave getting me all excited that something cosmic was happening...

Turns out my microwave doesn't like egg whites. I think my microwave might be racist. It doesn't try to explode when I leave the yoke in it... So, I though maybe it just needs some milk so it doesn't explode... but to my disappointment the egg still explodes all over the interior of my sacred microwave. I think it's because milk is white also.

I seriously don't know if I can live with a racist microwave. I mean, I love it, but some things are just not tolerable. Actually, I think I'm just making up excuses. The real reason the popping eggs startle the hell out of me and make me nervous is that I'm just a little worried about radiation.

"What?!?!", you say?

Well, when my brother was younger he was a real smart one, and did "experiments." One was where you soak an egg in vinegar for a week and the shell becomes rubbery. True. It completely worked but he got the bright idea to put the rubbery egg in the microwave. Again... "POP" and fucking "BOOM" and the whole freakin' door blew open!! So for many weeks, until we got a new one installed, we actually had to leave the kitchen for fear of radiation poisoning when using it... Haha... Who has to fucking leave the kitchen because of the microwave?? It's me!! It's me!! Well not anymore - but in my head sometime I think I should just to be safe... Haha...

So the moral of the story is, do not put rubbery eggs in the microwave, and if you do, go find a bat and he will show you the way to hell because down there you should be far enough away from that bastard-racist-microwave to get any radiation on your little soul. That's a pretty good lesson, huh?

Egg-eatin' , microwave-lovin', POP&BOOM-girl,

Errrrrrrica

Thank you, Mr. Door!!

2007-03-12T22:53:00.000-07:00

I consider myself a pretty nice person. True - I often talk like a sailor (not about setting the sails and shit, in case you don't understand), but that doesn't make me a bad person. What makes someone a bad person is not saying "thank you" when it's appropriate. That's right! I'm pissed! This should actually be an entry for Mr. Burnett's etiquette, but nope - I'm pullin' the strings tonight and this ones about California.

I actually don't know if it's a CA thing or what, but ever since I've moved here I've noticed that people just don't use their P's and Q's as much... Hummm... Too bad I don't really know what "P's and Q's" mean... Hummm... Haha... So anyway - I'm pissed. Haha... (WHAT? You can't take me seriously because I keep laughing? -and yes I actually laugh when I write "haha..." Fuck you!!!!!!! - you know I don't mean that right? God this blog is so emotionally draining...)

So, I've kind of noticed it before but the other day I was leave on my lunch break/music video and I held the door open for 2 ladies and wouldn't you fucking know it - neither one of those be-atches said thank you!!! So I'm usually very pleasant but I was so perturbed that I said "Your welcome!" as sweet as pie. But those bitches completely ignored me!!!! So what do I do? Well... Actually nothing... I'm not exactly going to get in a fight with 2 business women on my fucking lunch break, because not only am I a wuss, I bet they were lawyers and they have that crazy fire that burns in them... YOU know what I mean.

So, I actually was kinda proud of myself for saying "your welcome" when they didn't even say "thank you". It's like them there words where my fightin' words. Words of terror, I say!! Even if they didn't hear me, I still fell all powerful and had a good laugh because I was actually surprised I did it. Over all I am a pussy and a wussy... I like to think I'm tough and I'll offer to beat up anyone, but have it be know, that I just like SAYING it... Not DOING it...

And wouldn't you know it happened at the end of the day again!! Three people in one fucking day!!! What's the odds of that really? So, that's what I'm writing about because I'm so moved by the wonders of the human, lawyer mind... Haha... (take it easy all you lawyers... I don't want to be sued and I defiantly can't afford it).

So the next time you hold the door for someone say, "Your Welcome, from Erica AP - the savior of the holding-the-door-open-etiquette. She taught me that all is good in the world and you should learn this lesson otherwise you will go to hell."

That should catch their attention. And like greggoconnell.com says, "I'm wicked east coast - I'll hold the door for you."

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Hahahahahahahahaha.... (yes - I just laughed at my own mad, dorky writing skills - no one can write double h's like me).

Love,

the one who really cares about you, Erica AP

The award goes to...

2007-03-04T21:16:00.000-08:00

Let just start out by saying that I'm fucking funny. Ok? Now that we got that straight I'd like to thank a couple of people for my funniness. (spell check didn't even pick on that word!! Crazy!!) First off, I'd like to thank God, because that who every one thanks, even if I don't know if I believe in him, but just in case he's the one who made me funny - I'd like to thank him. Second I'd like to thank my brother for teasing me so much that in my crying I would eventually start laughing, even if it was a slightly psychotic laugh. Third but not last I would like to thank my real savior, alcohol. It's been with me through thick and thin and I know, that without it, I wouldn't be where I am today. Just a few shout outs: Thanks vodka, beer and Pinto Grigio - I love you man and I'll never forget you...

(cue cheesy-ass, lame-ass, stupid-ass music)

Damn... for all the work I've done you'd think there would be more of a pay off than just a 1 min speech. I mean, I sweat blood and tears for this thing and all they can give me is a fucking blogger medal? (I just made that up - in case you didn't know, they don't give out medals for being funny. Although if they did - maybe people would not do those damn memes anymore... Just a thought for the blog mafia. It was just a suggestion - please don't shoot me! I'm really good at the craps table - maybe I can win you some money??? Well, I'm not that good, but maybe I can win you 40 bucks or something...)

What? Where am I? Oh... the blog award for the funniest chick. Well, actually I think it's a crock of shit but who am I to question the holy grail of blog reviews? Actually - they don't even have blog awards on their website. They are just brutally honest and funny as hell and so in my book, because they gave me the award (or you could read "award" as good review) they are not only my new best friend but my mother and my new religion. All wrapped up into one. Crazy, huh? I never knew that those things could be combined either but wouldn't you know, it happened. I can only pray for all you out there that you be as blessed as I have been.

So, now that I've been writing for a while and realized I have written a real crock of shit, you now have to go to their website, because not only did they say to come to mine, they are sexy beasts and they all know it, which makes everyone happy in the end.

italk2much.com

Go on now and be good little boys and girls and maybe, just maybe I'll thank YOU in my next speech. (even if it is in my apartment, at 12:56am, with a bottle of wine and my dog as the audience)

Funniest bitch on the west side of that house down the street,

Ericaaaaaa

Love the plant like it's one of your own

2007-02-25T22:26:00.000-08:00

So you might have thought my last post about crazy people was weird. Or maybe you just thought that I was crazy. Whatever conclusion you came to I'm just going to solidify the fact that I might waver on the side of crazy more than sane.

I have a plant. One lone plant. It's actually a bunch of bamboo things that don't need much more attention than a little bit of water love once and a while. But the problem is, is that I feel bad. I feel bad I can't give my plant more love.

I've read a study where if you actually talk to your plant it will grow better. I talk to my TV all day but I don't see that thing growing any Travel Channel stations or becoming more LCD. I talk to myself but I don't see my boobs getting any bigger. WTF??

So the other day I was watering my little plant and decided it deserved a little bit of love from the only mother it will ever have. So, fucking laugh all you want - I talked to it. That's right. I actually said, "You are a good little plant, being all green and stuff." But the sad part about it was that I got bored. I got bored of trying to talk to something that doesn't respond to me. Does that make me an attention whore? (My plant is GLARING at me right now. I can tell after I'm done writing this that we'll have to have a "talk". Oh, how I hate those talks. It'll tell me it doesn't appreciate the way I talk about it behind it's back and if I want this relationship to continue I'm going to have to keep what we say in private. Damn bamboo bitch...)

So I got tired of talking to it. Who cares, right? Well, wouldn't you know, my little bamboo bitch started growing yellow leaves instead of the nice chlorifill filled leaves. Is it telling me that it's pissed or is it just upset that I don't talk to it as much as I should?

Damn those scientists and studies. If they hadn't done those studies, do you know how much easier my life would have been? I could just be watering my plant and not have to go through the thought process that I just made you go through. Aren't you pissed at those scientist too? They made you read this crap and I bet you are now feeling guilty for not talking to your own plants.

Well, I'm over it, so I guess it just suck for you. Because there's nothing worse than reading about someone who feels guilty for not talking to their plants and in turn makes you feel guilty. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse the original person who made you feel guilty doesn't give a shit about the plant in the first place...

Did I just get all crazy on your ass or scientific? I don't think we'll ever know. (or maybe I just don't want to know)

Sci-fi Dr. Erica (because I've got my doctorates in plantology)

WWE loves the customer

2007-02-18T22:59:00.000-08:00

I've decided that there are crazy people everywhere. I don't think I'm generalizing. I seriously think that crazy people rule the world. I'm not talking about politics-rule-the-world, but more like the majority-crazy-people who rule the world. If you do or have ever worked in retail you know what I mean. Actually if you are male or female then you know what I mean.

I am a girl... I mean a WOMAN, and I have been known to be a little crazy. Girl crazy, where you might obsess about something that someone said and might just think about what they said for 2 hours, where the actual reality of the statement has come to the conclusion that you suck and they hate you and everything you've ever tried to do that was nice was really just a ploy to get you to do something that you may or may not have wanted to do. Just writing that sentence make me feel a bit crazy. Haha...

But that defiantly does not let the guys off the hook. The craziness from guys comes when either they are too sensitive for their own britches or when they are only thinking with their weewee. (Weewee's a fun word... Isn't it??) They may sound like they are talking with their head, but when pondering on what they said, often you can find a trail (not a happy trail) to their other head. So - I'm fucking saying it - Guys are PMSy and crazy. More or just as crazy as girls.

But what actually led me to this conclusion is not some guy that made me get all Sex In The City on you, or some male friend who called me on the verge of crying because they canceled his show of WWE to show Friends reruns, but the crazy customers who come into my work place. I know... I know... It's taboo to talk about work... But I don't think talking about customers is the same as talking shit about fellow employees (whom I may or may not have just written my last entry about. I don't really want to loose my jobs so please don't tell anyone). So I work at a place that draws the crazys. Artistic, autistic, awfully weird and anatomically not correct. Actually I don't know if they have all the right parts but I was writing a lot of "A" words. The "A TEAM" would be proud. But these people come in like they know everything OR don't know anything and need me, of all people, to help them manifest their creative energy into something substantial, that, I'll have you know, I'll make no money from. Sometimes I wonder if they aren't just homeless people posing as customers just to make me crazy. That's right. Crazy people make me crazy. How fucked up is that?

Maybe this place that I call work is not in my best interest for my mental health. Maybe I should just become a psychologist. Maybe I should start my own company where people think they are just coming to enhance there creative juices but I really just prescribe them drugs so that I can live a normal life. Would that be immoral???

Fuck em!! I say I am a fucking savior and for the good of Earth the world needs a fake psychologists like me. Haha...

Who's the crazy person now be-atch!!!

Love and peace in the world of lease, (what??? - it rhymes bitches!!!)

Erica

Whales don't breath heavy

2007-02-12T23:54:00.000-08:00

I know that I have talked about getting old in the past... Ok - the resent past. But sometimes the oldness takes over and all you can do is hope that it's not taking over your soul. Yes - I said "soul" Soul is my new favorite word because it en captures all of life and the glorious beings within it. And we can climb the mountains to the heavens and walk along hand and hand. Haha... I hope you know I was getting all John Denver on your ass...

Anyway, there is this certain person that I may or may not work with who breathes over my shoulder like she just walk up Mt. Washington. (look it up - it's fucking tall) And all I can think about is, "why exactly is she breathing this hard and can't even hear herself? How exactly does one go from place to place with the sound of an Orca whale lodged inside of her left lung and not even know it's in there??" This is when I try to control myself and block out the sound that could wake a baby lion. What? You don't know that baby lions sleep through everything? Well - look it up. WAIT!! Don't look it up... I just made that up. Shit - you caught me in a fib and now you will never look at me the same way... Sigh...

So, what I hope to accomplish in the future is to not be working so much and to not breath like I'm stuck in a Star Trek show where there's just not enough oxygen on the planet we landed on. Oh - and I'd like not to smell like really bad old person perfume. Or an old person in general because the last thing I want to reek of is band aides and Depends. Old people diapers are just not on my agenda for getting old. Ok? Good. I'm glad we got that straight.

So go on with your lives as the lovely "souls" that you are and when I get old we will have some tea, listen to some Rocky Mountain High and we will pee our pants with the best of them. But don't expect any heavy breathing because I swore that off when I could actually control my bodily functions.

Sucka what? Sucka who? Sucka you!!!

Love,
Erica

Soul Train Fever

2007-02-06T23:00:00.000-08:00

In high school I might have been obsessed. Just slightly... with disco music. What? That wasn't hip back in the day??

Well, in my book it was. My friends and I would cruse around in my parents 5th Avenue gold Chrysler. This was not a normal Chrysler... It was a freaking boat on wheels. That thing would guzzle gas like a Lincoln SUV and you could go 60 miles an hour feeling like you were going 20. Not only was the paint job appropriate but the tape I popped in was too. For some strange reason I found a 70's disco tape that I just couldn't stop listening to. All of the greats were on it and I forced, I mean, encouraged my friends to enjoy it too. We would all hop in (you could easily fit about 10 people in it although I only had 3 friends) and we would drive all around the little back roads in Vermont like the pimps that we were. If only we had those jumper/bouncy things on the car we could have been in a Snoop Dog video. (I was a hippy though, so I had no fucking clue who that was) I would turn on my favorite disco fever song "Ring My Bell" and the shoulder dance took over. The shoulder dance had it's own zip code if you know what I mean. What? You don't know what that means??? Well then you are just a dumb ass. Plain and simple... Haha... Just kidding!!! Please don't stop reading... I NEED you!!! Haha...

So I got home the other night and, yes, it was late, and yes, I may have had a drink or two, and yes - I am a rock star. What? (Sorry - wishful thinking that makes me think it's ok to drink often) I turn on the TV and what pleasure do I get to watch??? Well, I was just thrilled to find an actually real rerun of the 70's dance show, "Soul Train". That's right. I was so fucking excited about the afros, 70's clothes and disco music that I actually took pictures of myself dancing some Saturday Night Fever shit and I took about 100 pictures of the television. (Has anyone ever taken a picture of the TV? Not so good - but it's not like I can go down to the club and take a picture of a rocking, soul lovin' homey with rad (I never say "rad") hair and polyester suit to boot) So I settled for the next best thing... Do you blame me?

Anyway, I guess it all comes down to my idea that I was reincarnated. Yup. You heard me right bitch!! Rein-fucking-carnated. I, for some reason, think I'm so connected to the 70's because I died in the 70's from a drug overdose. That would explain why I don't do any drugs now and I love the music and clothes. Because if you know anything about reincarnation it's that you learn something every life. Haha.... god - I love being so knowledgeable. And I'll have you know that alcohol is not a drug. At least that's what I tell myself.

So revel in the wonders of the 70's and praise the reincarnated God because you never fucking know who is going to be driving that pimped out gold Chrysler.

For shizzel my nizzle,

Erica

Love Me - Love the Music I Make

2007-01-29T22:07:00.000-08:00

I love my dog. My dog loves me. I love music. My dog loves music (I think). I like playing my own music. My dog HATES my music.

It's a nice evening with a glass of wine and a toasty warm room and I get inspired to play a little bit of gee-tar... I start off soft like using Charmin's Toilet Paper for the first time, and sing sweetly like Snow White singing to her birds. But the more I get into it the louder I become and that's when my pup gets up, looks at me, rolls his eyes (he's very talented), and actually leaves the room to sit by himself. He would rather sit all alone in another room, in the freaking dark, than listen to me practice. Mannnnnnnnnnn... Isn't your dog supposed to love you unconditionally? Even if you just yelled at him because he is growling at every little noise he hears? Even if you yell at him and he ignores you? Even when you play guitar like a 3rd grader? I thought that your dog is supposed to love you more than your parents...

Well, you know what pup? FUCK YOU! Just kidding!!! I love you, I love you, I love you and you are soooo cute and I would never swear at you unless you were really pissing me off, and maybe you are right. Maybe I should start learning some Shania Twain covers and singing like Led Zeppelin. (Because those are his favorite musicians) If I start playing that stuff will you stay in the room with me and clap when I'm done? You can sing along if you want too... Alright - you can come on stage with me and sing a little at my next show. But you are no Brian from the Family Guy - I'm just making that clear right now, because I'm the star... Not you. The spot light is on me Mr. Brian wannabe. You are just going to have to deal with it because we all know you aren't as well read as Brian... Oh, I'm sorry!! Don't leave!!! Wait- I'll play some Shania for you!!!

OK - maybe I'm just a little obsessed with my dog and maybe he rules my life just a little. And I see nothing wrong with me having whole conversations with him because I'm usually by myself...

Oh shit - did I just write all that for the whole World Wide Web to read? Fuck it - if you have a problem with it I'll just have my dog attack your shoes. Because that's what he does best, obviously. Shoe's are like the hydrogen in his Hindenberg.

Crazy yelling dog lady,
Erica

Color me M and M

2007-01-25T22:38:00.000-08:00

I respect my elders. Really I do. Well... Maybe I don't. Maybe I am just a little defiant when my elders tell me what to do. Ok - I'm a teenager stuck in an adult body. I admit it and have been going to a 12 step program and I'm still in the denial stage. But, dudes (and dudettes), who likes to be told what to do? I sure as hell don't. Even if my respected elder is nice about it, I start a whole argument in my head that fuels the fire of angst, "Can you do this next time, because what you've been doing it not what I want. Thanks so much." (no - this isn't the creepy Office Space guy) I respond all smiles with, "Ok - no problem! I understand." But as soon as they leave I'm cursing under my breath and I've started the dialog that goes a little like this: "Why the hell do I have to do it THAT way when I've been doing it fine all along and everyone ELSE does it THIS way and no one else gets a talking to, and who the hell are YOU anyway to tell me what to do BE-ATCH!!!" Then I may go into different versions of this with different swear words, and I try to keep it in my head but I'm sure someone somewhere must see me talking to myself...

So that makes me think, when do we become elders, exactly? I would like to know the exact time, date, day of month and moon rotation. Do you become an elder when you have kids or at a certain age? Do you have to have wisdom or just a stick up your ass? Would I be considered an elder? (Man - I don't think I have ever typed the word "elder" so much in my entire life) If you have to have kids or be really old, then, I don't want it. Nope!!! I wash my hands of my elderness. I'm going to have an elderness life. (FYI - Elderness is a way cooler word than elder)

I guess what I'm realizing, everyday that I get older, is that I don't want to grow up. I want to stay young forever. Not in my junior high, coke bottle glasses, with high waters, stage - but in my college, drink and hang out with friends stage. Growing up scares me so fucking much that I often hang out with Mr. Groundhog in his dugout in the ground and only come out for special occasions. (Which would be of course, Halloween because of all the great candy at Target, and New Years because you get to party like you are 21) But I don't think those special occasions are enough. I want to live everyday like I want. I don't want ANYONE telling me what to do and I want to go out and party like a Paris Hilton wannabe. I don't want to be responsible and grow up and I defiantly don't want some mofo telling me to do something differently that I don't even care about in the first place. Is that so bad? Does everyone have to grow up? Growing up is so booooooring...

But you know what's so good? M and M's at the candy store where you can get any colors you want mixed together... It's like an art project that you can eat!!!

Who's the freakin' kid now? That's right bitch!!!!

Love all elders my son,
Erica

Oven vs. Drinks

2007-01-14T23:16:00.000-08:00

Ok - We all know that wimpy-wimps move to California because it's warm, but I don't think I signed up for this.

I'm from Vermont. I skied when I was younger and spent countless hours in the snow building forts (yes - the snow was so high I could build forts) and running buckets of water down sled grooves to make them crazy fast. But the older I got the more I realized that cold weather is actually my arch nemesis. Not only do you have to drive in it, but it makes one (ok - maybe just me) have slight symptoms of tourettes syndrome. I would get in my car and instead of saying, "Man is it cold out!" I would yell, "Oh fucking, mother of shit, it's so fucking cold out, you mother fucker!!!!!" Possibly over and over again until my heater would kick in.

I thought I had left that all behind when I moved. I thought wrong. It's gotten into the 30's lately. And wouldn't you know it, my heater broke. That little weird wall heater that occupies all California apartments, that when you turn it on you think you might, just might, burn the whole house down because it blasts out an obscene amount of flames that is covered with only a thin sheet of metal with tons of holes in it. But you figure... Hummm... Nobody else thinks this is strangely unsafe so it MUST be safe.

So that brings me to my new heat source and possibly me new replacement for my favorite drink. I decided that the only way that my puppy and I could survive is to turn on my oven and leave the door open to heat the house. Just in case you have never done this, (although I'm pretty sure this is the way they heated houses in the olden days - not sure what "olden day" mean but I'm thinking it was before the time of wall heaters) you open the door and you are visited by the nicest burst of warm air you have ever imagined. It heats your little bum to the core-soul and puts all your fears on the shelf.... Until you start laughing a little and think, "This smell that I smell... What is this... I have smelled (smelt??) it before and something tells me it's not right." A half an hour later I realize that it is the very strong smell of gas. Not human or dog gas, but natural gas.. Haha... Not gasoline but gas. (If you don't know what I mean - then go look it up asshole!) So I have become gitty on gas. And you know what??? I like it. I'm warm and I feel drunk and I think this might just be my new drink of choice. I call it the, "Burnin' Heater" and someday I plan on making big bucks from it. So back off!!!!

So if you are feeling like you need a lift and a little heat - pull you seat up and order a "Burnin' Heater" and be proud when you say, "I read the blog of the person who made this drink."

Hells yeah!!

I swear I'm not gassy Erica

Rock Star Syndrome

2007-01-09T22:57:00.001-08:00

Hello my little pumpkins...

No, I haven't been eaten by the blogging fairies, I've just merely been busy and have decided long ago I don't want this thing to feel like a job. But just in case I do get eaten by the blogger fairies QofD knows the wonders that they hold and may be able to get in touch with them if I do go missing for too long.

So now that my excuse is out of the way... ON WITH THE POST!!! (I imagine saying that on a horse in the wild west, with a red prairie dress and an awesome gun holster strapped to my thigh - ooooh... it starting to sound like one of my favorite movies, Romancing the Stone.)

So I went to this show in town and I didn't know any of the bands. That was fine, but what made it so cool was that one of my favorite local artist was there hanging out with his friends. I've been to his shows and talked to him a bit but wouldn't you know it, my fucking 13 year old self came out and decided it was ok to just stand around him but never introduce myself. I just watch like a weird stalker and tried to muster up the courage to talk to him all night. I'm such a freaking looser sometimes. I mean, how hard is it to go up to a person and say, "Hey, will you have my babies?" Haha... (I'm actually laughing out loud) Ok - so maybe I just wanted to say, "Remember me? I shook your hand after one of your shows..." and of course he would be like, "Oh, yeah!! You're the one who shook my hand with MEANING. I remember. So what are you doing on Friday?" Haha.... (I'm totally laughing out loud again because I think I'm sooooo funny) So, what is the deal with rock stars anyway? What makes them so god damn cool that even a 13 year old girl like me can't even say hi? It's like they have this super-duper force field around them of girlfriends and rock star buddies that surround them like Britney Spears' sexy body guards.

So I came to the end of the night with the sad realization that if it doesn't happen, it wasn't meant to be. I'm not going to force a San Diego rock star to talk to me just so I can brag to my friends that we are now dating. (Obviously if you talk to a rock star then you are dating them) So I left the club sad and sappy like Herbie (Gregg's dog) but I stand tall when I say, "I stood behind the coolest musician in SD."

So, I'll just go on in my little, un-famous life and dream of all the babies - I mean, dogs - we could have together while we tour the world in a luxury tour bus with our own Mariachi band that sings us to sleep every night.

La, la, la, la....

Nighty-night,

Erica AP

(Oh - and I would put a link to his website but just in case we start dating, I don't ever want him to read this and know I was talking about him. Haha... I love living in the fantasy world of wine and blogging)

Praise and Joy of Sugar Cubes

2006-12-25T22:25:00.000-08:00

The holidays are a time for family, giving and comprimise... Right? I was determined not to write a Christmas entry because EVERYONE writes one, but it's just too hard to ignore. I'm not going to complain about the malls or traffic or wrapping presents. I'm not going to complain at all actaually. It's just that sometimes things hit me in such a way I can't not write about them.

So I was brought up very Catholic. My father was a deacon and my mom has gone to church every Sunday of her entire life. I have long ago stopped going for reasons I don't mind talking about but would rather not get into any argument about with anyone about. So don't try bitch!!! Haha... So I'm trying not to be a rebellious teenager anymore and agreed to go with my Mom to Mass on Christmas just purely to make her happy. Thank god (I'm not using that word in vain - I swear!) lucky for me Christmas falls on a Monday so not only does my Mom have to go to Church on Sunday but Monday also!! And like any good Mom she makes me feel very guilty for making her go alone. So like the good daughter I am I reluctantly agree to go to Church two days in a row. Holy shit... Again - not using holy in vain.

So we enter into this beautiful, ornate, very Italian church and sit down. All is well and many strange and unusual memories come flooding back but one takes over that occupies my mind almost the whole time. There is this little boy and girl sitting in front of us. Trying to sit quietly but starts to wiggle around about 15mins into the ceremony.

Flash back. Me. About 5 years old. In a new red and black velvet dress my grandmother bought for me. Bow in my hair with white tights and little red hearts on them.

In my head is this new song I learned in school that I was so excited about to sing to my parents. So in order to not forget the song I decided it would be wise to not sing or say any of the prayers. I would stare at the pew, possibly scrape off some of the varnish and trace the lines in the wood with my finger all the while singing in my head, "Cookaberra sings in the old gum tree, eating all the gum drops he can see..." (god this sounding like a freaking scary Poltergeist movie) Anyway, I would start squirming and all of a sudden my father would put his hand on my leg to keep me from moving but also would give me a nice little painful squeeze right above my knee. I would straighten up and sit very still for the rest of the time but still not singing.

FINALLY church is over and we get to go to coffee hour where I can eat pastries and sugar cubes but on the walk over to the hall my father asks me why I wasn't singing or saying any of the prayers. Of course my answer is that I was trying to memorize a song I learned at school so that I could show them. But obviously that was not the right answer and of course I got reprimanded. Nothing really bad happened from this memory. It was just so vivid and those little kids in front of me today at church reminded me so much of my brother and I that I felt compelled to write about it.

So maybe when you take your kids to church you should ask them if they have any thing they want to tell you before you go inside because God doesn't like a squirmy kid who doesn't sing and praise the lord like a good Van Trap family member would.

Whiskers on Kittens anyone???

SIC Erica (stuck in childhood - for those of you who are not down with the lingo I roll with)

Oh - and Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate. :)

Strutting Your Stuff

2006-12-18T23:01:00.000-08:00

I'm the coolest. Really... I feel really cool. I'm walking down the street in the hip area of the city and I've got my shades on, high heels and rockin' music pumping in my ears. That's right - I'm in my own music video. Actually, not my music video but a music video where this girl is walking down the street and everyone looks at her and thinks, "She is SO cool..."

Alright, enough of my little fantasy. I guess sometimes I just get rapped up in the feeling that headphones give me.

You (meaning me) are sitting in a office all day and on your lunch break you put your little ear piece thing in your ears (or big bulky headphones because the little white ipod one's don't fit in your small ears - damn Ipod... But I love my genes - my ears won't be the size of my face when I'm 80). But you still feel cool because your favorite song comes on and you've never seen the video for it on MTV so you open the door to the world and the video begins. The walk starts and the John Travolta walk from Saturday Night Fever takes over and you are strutting yourself like the new winner from Top Model. No one can hold you down. "no body gonna breaka my stride - no body gonna slow me down - oh no... I've got to keep on movin'!" Anyone??? My Mom used to love that freakin' song.... Back to reality (my music video)....

You find yourself at a gazebo and you sit down in the sun. The music turns to a sentimental song and your emotions flow like chocolate over a fondue fountain. The breeze blows right when the song hit the emotional peek and you think you've found heaven... Serenity, music and nature...

No? This doesn't happen to everyone? There's no heaven with a music video with America's Next Top Model eating from a flowing chocolate fondue?? What the fuck? Who exactly is ruining this dream for me? The model who won't eat or John Travolta because he's pissed at me for stealing his thunder because he's just too old and fat now?

Well, I guess it doesn't really matter if it's real or not. In my head it feels awesome that I'm in a rocking 80's video. I just want to thank the person who invented headphones. They are a fucking genius and deserve a gold medal... Or a Nobel Prize or something.... How about one of those old Smurf dolls??? They have got to be worth something, right?

My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.
I gotta wear shades,

Erica

Tagga-licious

2006-12-11T22:33:00.000-08:00

So - It's been done. It's undeniable. I've been tagged.

Because I've just engaged myself in the whole blogging world, I had no idea what that meant and was slightly afraid it was something dirty. And I'll have you know - I'm just not that kind of girl. ;) (I'm winking with punctuation - like the symbols are my alter ego - How do you roll your eyes with punctuation?) But soon enough I found out it's a little bit like those damn emails that people send you where if you don't make a wish to save all the little children in Africa and send the email to 28 people you will die in your sleep in the next 10 to 15 days depending on how many people you forward it to. Soooooo, I'm not really into that shit and I hate feeling obligated to pass such things on. Sure, I might partake in the wish making but I just don't feel right about passing on a death wish. Is that so wrong??

So with that said - I am going to write about 6 weird things about me but I'm only going to tag greggoconnell.com because 1) He's my real life friend and 2) he LOVES talking about himself. And I'm sure he would actually rather be tagged by a guy - but he will have to settle with me - even though it's not as gay. Sorry buddy!!

1) I might have a slight split personality. Not diagnosed - unless you consider astrological signs a medical practice... Now I'm not really into that shit but when someone asks your birthday and they say, "oh no - you're a Gemini. That explains a lot," you start to analyze how maybe you might, just might, be leading a double life. It's mostly with work and not work. I'm EXTREMELY quite at work. Some days I won't really talk to anyone, but as soon as I get out I'm a crazy, hyper, yelling obscenities in my car girl. I don't know what it is but I often get, "You act different outside of work, huh?" just by someone looking at a picture. What can I say - I'm the spice of life, baby!!!!

2) Recently my car was really dirty and someone wrote, "FAG MOBILE" on my side windows and I thought it was the funniest thing ever and I told anyone and everyone I could. How fucking awesome!!! Thank god it doesn't rain here and I don't have money for a car wash because it stayed on for a freaking month!! Haha...

3) My favorite smell is cotton candy and I might have some kid perfume that I wear from time to time when I don't' care if some Mom who walks by me says, "do you smell cotton candy?" to her kids.

4) My friends think I'm crazy, but I don't want kids. I don't really know why... I have some theories but I'm not going to get all psychological on you so I'll just leave it at: I've never wanted kids, never dreamed of having kids and don't want to be responsible for another human being. Done!!!!!

5) My hands and feet are always cold. I'm not kidding... It could be 80 degrees outside and my feet are ice cubes. It could be some circulation problem but I refuse to go to the doctor for such a retarded reason. So I run my little heater all year you mo-foe electric company!!

6) When I was in junior high I was a real geek. I'm not talking about the smart geek. Or the weird geek that was artsy. I'm talking about a girl who use to use a whole bottle of fucking moose in her bangs because she knew that the cool kids used it, even though it just came out looking like a Lego guys helmet hair with a really bad perm flowing from the plastic madness on top of her forehead. (run on sentences rock the casbah and get the point across nicely) Oh, and don't forget the coke-bottle glasses. Oh - and some acid-wash, black, high water jeans with an elastic waste, are also all the rage in the geek world. I would post a picture but I don't think I could ever live it down so you will just have to take my word. I was really geeky. Maybe that explains how come I'm so dorky now... Maybe I've just made a slight transition from geek to dork and dorks are considered cool now. Are they??? Is this just wishful thinking???

Oh well. Dorkiness must be some kind of disease that you never grow out of. All I know is that I just wrote a shit load of crap and crap is the new geeky. Yeah!!!!!!!!!! (haha... say that in geeky voice. I know you all have your own version of that voice.)

Love,
Smellin' sweet Erica

Titillating Apartment Love

2006-12-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

Pet peeves anyone? You all know what I'm talking about. I hear it all the time. Toilet paper over or under, not rinsing the dishes before they go in the dishwasher (I've never owned a dishwasher - try washing dishes for real lazy bitches!!), gum snapping-bubble popping teeny-boppers. Well, maybe teens haven't done that since the eighties but it still doesn't mean that it wasn't annoying as hell. Right? Well, I have a pet peeve that pisses me off so much I literally yell "FUCK!!" And then mumble a bit until I find the light stick...

What is this light stick that I talk of, you ask? The ever-so useful flashlight. Maybe you've guessed my problem. If not I'll fucking spell it out for you... If I use more than 3 electrical things in my apartment my fucking electricity shuts off. This damn bitch (meaning my apartment) doesn't like it when I work more than 3 objects. WTF!!

OK - maybe this is an old house and maybe the wiring is from the 1920's but don't you think the real estate company would think - "Hummm.... This house is pretty old. Maybe we should rewire the place so it doesn't burn down." But instead they get a call from some other tenet from a newer building complaining about his lazy-ass dishwasher and how it's not getting all the spots off Target wine glasses. I can't even afford some nice Target glass. Try cooking a freakin' quick Mac'n'cheese in the microwave after a couple of drinks and the entire apartment saying, "Yeah - I don't really feel like doing all this work right now. So why don't you try cooking your own Mac'n'cheese. Thanks. I really appreciate it." That's of course when I let out my little swear word and work my magic hands to find a flash light in the dark. As soon as the flash light is found I see the light at the end of the dark tunnel... I get my keys, go out side and flip the breaker. I know, I know... I'm so knowledgeable and handy around the house. I can't help it if I was a man in a past life. So after a couple of minutes the electricity is back on I can go about my business like the business woman I am.

I guess this is just a warning to all those looking to get a new place. Ask how old the place is... Really. So next time you have some friends over you don't have to turn off all the lights to make some Margaritas and popcorn. I tell my friends, " I swear - I need to turn out the lights to make popcorn!" But I'm not so sure they believe. Damn perverts - ruining the power outages for the rest of us. But over all I can't complain... I love my apartment and all it's quirks. It's my new boyfriend - didn't you know???

Apartment loving ho,

Erica

Savior in a Stick

2006-11-30T23:09:00.000-08:00

I think I've found my new Savior. The one who make me feel happy and alive. The one who give meaning to my life.... That's right - It's the one and only Juicy Fruit Gum.

Have we all forgotten about this wondrous elixir? The sweet smelling, love me like a lover, gum? Well, I rediscovered it recently when I need cash back at a store and was bored of my Dentine Ice gum. I spotted the yellow wrapper and got a strange flash back to 4th grade where we would stand in single file line in the hallway completely silent while the "mean" teacher yelled at the top of her lungs, "SOMEONES CHEWING GUM!!!" How did she know? "I HAVE A TRAINED NOSE AND I CAN SMELL JUICY FRUIT GUM A MILE AWAY!!!" Oh. OK. I had a half of stick of it in my pocket but I was sure she couldn't smell it... Right? You can only smell it if you are chewing it... Right??

Well, it turns out - No. You can really smell it a mile away. So after my little retreat into childhood elementary hell, I bought the non-sugar-free gum(oh my god... Don't tell anyone - I won't be cool if I don't chew sugar-free gum) . And you know what? It's fucking awesome!!!! I have been leaving it in my car and not only does it serve as a yummy chewy treat, it has become a wondrous car air freshener! Who would of thought? Every time I get into my car I'm like, "It smells so good in here!! Ooooooo!!! I can eat this smell!!!"

Yes, I get excited over small things. Yes, I'm writing an entire entry on gum, and yes - I'm in love with Juicy Fruit gum all over again like a little hyper 4th grader who is trying not to breath out to much so that her teacher won't send her to the principles for chewing fruity goodness.

So, I guess I just wanted to remind some special people (aka: you) that Juicy Fruit is still on the market and it is indeed still da bomb.

Gum-snapin'-juicy-lovin'-fruity-Erica

Excited Weirdo on the Loose!!

2006-11-27T23:49:00.000-08:00

You know when you are out with friends and everyone is laughing and often at things you throw into to mix? You feel like the world is you clam (or oyster if you have to be boring) and you are sooooo "on". Well, I've been informed that sometimes... actually often when I think I'm "on" and oh-so-witty, I'm actually just being extremely weird. Awesome!!! At first I was like, "oh shit - who exactly was I around when I was "on/being slightly crazy"? Then I came to the conclusion that weird is the new cool. I know you guys know what I'm talking about. A-huh, A-huh (in Elvis voice) So you (or I) start rambling about how I'm totally going to bring back the saying "da bomb" and maybe "totally tubular" and maybe getting a little bit too excited about it and all of a sudden I'm not "on" - I'm just being fucking weird. Haha... I fucking love it.

I have always brought out the weird in my friends. I may have had more than one friend say that we share a brain and do the same dorky weird things like we are connected or something. But when it happened with more than one friend I started to see a pattern (keep in mind, this was years ago, that we said this - not last year - or last Tues.......) Maybe my childhood friends were blaming their weirdness on me. Maybe they really weren't that weird but I made them strange??? Is that possible? Is it possible that I'm so crazy cool that I influence my friends so much to start acting in strange and unusual ways?

Well, then - I guess I would have to take that as a compliment. Is there any other way to take it? Hell no!!! Weird = new cool. That's how I'm dealin' the cards and I'm fuckin' winning!!

God - I'm such a dork... (I can't believe I made a card reference and the only game I know is Slap Jack - preferably the drinking version).

To all my lovely weirdos out there,
Weirdo - miss - Erica

Wheelie Cool!!!!

2006-11-20T14:46:00.000-08:00

So, I was coming home from my friends house the other night and I'm pretty sure I wasn't imagining this thing I saw... It was late and I did have a couple of beers but I'm sure it wasn't in my head.

Keep in mind I live in the middle of a city. I was about to cross the street when two young guys came riding by on bicycles. No big deal right? Wrong. One was on a regular bike but the other one was on a circus bike. You know what I mean? Like, a real life, tall, weird looking bike with big wheels. I shit you not. I was so surprised and confused I almost tripped and fell on my ass.

Who owns those things? Where would you store it? How do you even get on it? The seat must be like 8 feet high. How do you learn to ride one of those things? Maybe growing up his dad was like, "Son it's time for you to learn how to ride a bike." But he was all, "But Dad regular bikes are BOOORING...." So his Dad when out and got the most different bike he could find. It just happened to be one that Carnies learn on and that if you fell off of you might die. But I guess to each their own...

As for me I think I'll just stick to a regular bike or even better my boring little car because who wants to look like they come from the circus?

La, La, Later,

Want-be Carney (Erica-the-outrageous) - that would be my stage name obviously because I'm crazy cool... Haha...

Who doesn't love a flat ass??

2006-11-14T22:56:00.000-08:00

This may sound completely retarded and may counteract past posts, but when I get on a tangent there's no stopping the new wonder woman of blogging.

Do you ever get a creative overload? Like a short circuit (maybe like the movie) that just keeps overloading on yummy batteries? That's how I've been feeling lately. I try to do something creative everyday I have off from working a "real" job so that I keep plugging forward with my future of not having a "real" job. Recording, sewing, drawing and now writing because of this damn thing (because for some reason I feel the need to write nonsense for the 3 people who read this thing). But tonight... No way. I can't do it. I think I should do this or maybe that, but all I do is sit on my ass. My ass is literally becoming flat. Believe me it's very sexy. So on my fat ass I sit - each hour passing while I count down the half hours before I have to get ready for bed.

So it that even possible? (not that my ass is getting flat/fat or that I count down the hours in half hours) But that my creative juices have run out? That's a fucking scary thought. What happens when it's my job to be creative and I think that writing in my lame blog will solve all of my problems? I guess I'm up shit's creek. (That would be the nastiest creek ever, ewwww.)

So is this what all "creative" (and yes - I'm using tons of "" and ( ) - deal with it bitch!!! Haha...) types have to deal with? If so I might just decide to get a job sitting on my ass all day answering phones. Oh wait - that's what I do already. Shit. Wait - Let me, at least, get my life vest for the ride....

Loverly,
Erica

V for Visitors

2006-11-12T23:15:00.000-08:00

Now, I'm not a Treky or anything but since I've moved and I have basic cable only, I may have started watching Star Trek. I know. It's totally lame but the stories are actually quite entertaining and Captain Kirk always ends up kissing some random woman on the show. And as creepy as it may sound... Captain Kirk was kinda hot back in the day. But I defiantly do not have him as my wallpaper or screensaver (he's no Zack). And do you know what episode is on right now??? It just happens to be the only episode I remember since my childhood, where these cute fuzzy creatures take over the ship. Nice.......... Well, actually not so nice. When I was really young for some reason my parents thought it was totally fine for me to watch (all together as a family) kinda scary shows. Star Trek is not all that scary but does anyone remember the show V??? Am I dating myself?? All I remember is that they were aliens and ate rats... Haha... I was so terrified everytime I watch that show but that was family time. I couldn't miss out on family time. Shit. -(said with a gangsta accent) Homeade popcorn, actually popped in a frying pan with oil and tons of butter, the lights out and everyone into it except me. Well, I might have been into it but more because I thought I might be eaten alive by human-looking-aliens who found a mouse in my room and wasn't full so why not eat Erica??

So, where am I going with this you ask?? I think I was traumatized. Haha... I love taking myself seriously. NO - seriously... I can't watch scary movies now. I'm not joking. One time I almost started crying because my ex-boyfriend and I were outside the theater and I was too scared to see a scary movie. What a fucking looser, huh?? I'm a total wussy and I don't deny it. But just to let you know, I'm pretty tough too... I went to see the movie. Aren't you proud???

So I guess I'm just putting a warning out to all parents: Do Not let your children watch the old show V because it will make them scared of everything or maybe it will just make them think that it's ok to eat rats.

Love,
Tough Erica

I'm so tough and independent it hurts

2006-11-09T22:20:00.000-08:00

I've decided not to care anymore. That's right. I'm going to write like a be-atch who thinks that she's the only one who can read this because, you know what? .... I'm a woman!! Haha... Who knew!! I'm growing up and that wall flower has got to go. So... I'm going to write more. I may drink more. I may write while I'm drinking more. Does that make me a total lush?? Maybe but who give a flying fuck? I'm kinda past the puberty stage of boob growing and all (even though I really didn't get boobs until college) but that doesn't mean that someone can't grow after the age of 14. Actually after all the chocolate I've been eating I'd have to say I'm growing quite nicely thankyou. Sooooooooo... I'm going to ramble once again because I haven't done a real drunk ramble in a while. Sober ramble - yes. Drunk ramble - No.

Ok -GO!!!

I love the show Scrubs even though I've just started watching the reruns and I may or may not have a picture of him as my screen saver because I have a crush on Zack Braff. I hate it when you are typing and you accidentally hit the "insert" button and you never really know if it's in insert mode or non-insert mode until it's really necessary. I get really annoyed when I'm watching tv and all of a sudden I realize that I've been listening to it like I'm a 95 year old with huge buzzing hearing aids that barely work. I love vitamin water... I love vitamin water with ice and vodka because it tastes good and make you feel SO awesome in the morning like I got 9 hours of sleep. I love when I get emails from my best friend from highschool. Almost every night when it's about 11 or 12pm I always say out loud "It's sooo boring to go to sleep" like an 8 year old. I hate it when my dog barks like a crazy psycho. I hate that commercial about the "all natural male enhancement" where they just whistle for about 5 mins straight. I love laughing out loud and talking to the tv even when I'm all by myself and my neighbors probably think I'm the "crazy lady with the dog".

I'm sorry - the funniest South Park rerun is on and I can't focus any more.

Take care lovely little... Hummmmmmmmmmmm.... I'm not even going to try to say anything witty.. so F you!!!!

Love,
Erica

Close to Greatness

2006-11-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

What the hell is up with people interfering with my personal space? Now this has happen to me every single time I go here. On my lunch break I'll once and a while walk down to the bay where they have all these touristy ships lined up. One even looks like the Goonies ship, which is pretty freakin' cool but that's not why I'm writing. I sit and eat my lunch on a bench overlooking the water which is quite beautiful but then some jackass comes walking by and I have to move my legs so that they don't bump into me. WTF?? There is about 15 feet of boardwalk for them to walk on and it's empty so why the fuck do they need to walk so god damn close to me?? There was girl jogging today and I swear if I didn't move my foot she would have tripped over it. It's not like I'm over reacting or anything... It happened about 4 times in the 15 mins I was there. How hard would it be for them to move over one or two steps? Do they just want to be near me because I'm such a freakin' rockstar and they want to touch the mere being that is EricaAP? Or do you think they can sense that I'll move because I'm passive? Or maybe the tourists are just so busy looking at the ships that they aren't even looking where they are walking? But that doesn't explain all the dumbasses who are just on their lunch break trying to do a powerwalk to work off all that Halloween candy they ate of their kids... Does anyone else think this is a bit odd?

Maybe I'm just a bit bitter today. Actually I'm feeling quite empowered now that I've come to the conclusion that they just want to be in the presents of true rockstar wannabe who may be trying to walk that entire bag of M&M's she bought at Target for $.52 the day after Halloween. Haha...

That's the ticket,

EricaAP (no I'm not smart like AP classes and no I don't work for the associated press)

Who's got the power now?

2006-11-03T16:21:00.000-08:00

When I was in kindergarten and first grade I had this best friend that I would go everywhere with. We would get on the bus in the morning, head straight to the back (because the bumps were so fun) and would proceed to talk and move like robots. Yup - the whole ride. It was just what we did - no questions asked. I'm pretty sure we used to try to get other people to do it because we thought we were so cool. Then we would go to class and do class work (not exactly sure what that is when you are in kindergarten - but whatever). Recess would come and it was then our time to show our womanly powers of chasing this boy we both had a crush on, around the playground for half an hour, trying to kiss him. Well, for some reason he always seemed to out run us. One day we decided enough was enough and we were going to give him some tough love. We got on the bus to go home but instead of our normal robot ways we caught him off guard by completely cornering him in the back of the bus and kissing him. At the same time. With everyone watching. With him screaming. I kissed him on the cheek and she on the hand. It caused quite a stir... At least in our minds. We had finally won!!! The battle was over!!

So where the hell did that ballsy girl go in me?? Now I barely even speak to people at work and only show my dorkyness to my close friends and my dog (by the way - my dog gets a real kick out of my robot voice). And of course when filling my bloodstream with alcohol... Why is it when you get older you become more shy??? I though the older you get the more you come into yourself and the more outgoing you become? Maybe I'm just more odd than I thought. Which would be pretty hard to beat.

So I think tonight if I go out, I will put my best robot voice on and force a guy to kiss me. No?? This doesn't sound like a good idea?? Haha... Ok. I'll just drink and keep the robot voices in my head.

Take care all my little RTD2's,
Erica

Overwhelming music

2006-10-24T13:14:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get the feeling that you are leading a life that is supposed to be different from what you should be leading? Does that make sense?

This has been happening a lot to me lately. I'm not talking about someone who is leading a double life, or someone who wishes they were doing something else. I talking about this strange feeling I get often when I'm relaxed and thinking about music. It's completely overwhelming and it evokes such emotion in me that I often have to think about something completely different to make myself not get choked up. And it's not like I want to cry because I'm sad... It's more like because I get so excited. Maybe it's like a little day dream or something, and when I start feeling like this I start to really take a look at the life I'm leading and if it's the right choice for me. If thinking about being a real, fulltime, money making musician strikes such a cord in me, then why aren't I doing it? I mean really doing it. Not just doing it half assed. I mean the whole nine yards it takes to make money in that business. Writing, recording, playing out, promotion... It's really a lot of work. Maybe that's why I'm not doing it. Granted I would love to not work in an office 40 hours a week but at least the pay check is easy. And I'm still doing music but not full time. That also is because you have to have money to make money.

Maybe I'm getting these feeling more often because I'm getting closer to my destiny. Destiny is such a queer word. It's almost like the word "Soul". Yuck. But what if everything I'm doing is leading me to this feeling that just keeps getting stronger and stronger until I'm actually doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like I'm talking out of my ass. Am I? Does anyone else ever feel like this?

These are like "what are we doing here?" questions... Which is not really something I can wrap my head around completely. Like, "are we each put here for a specific reason?", and "are our lives already planned out for us?" Damn, I'm so profound it hurts... Haha...

Maybe I just needed a good rambling today. Maybe next time I get that feeling I'll try to hold on to it instead of turning it off. What I should really turn off is my incoherent ramblings. Done!!!!!!! I'm doing it!!!!!!

Later gator,
Erica

Blogging Overload

2006-09-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

I think I've noticed how the world has come to a blogging overload. My friend Gregg has now given up playing music to pursue his career of writing in his blog and having people hang on every one of his words. Up. It's like a freakin' full time job. He has flame wars (not a gay thing) and has these strange friendships with other people who blog.

Personally, I'm not a daily blogger nor do I think I have very much to say. I guess I could write more often, but seriously, who the hell cares what I write. I'm realizing the people who write and make their blog their life are people who are searching for a little stardom. I don't blame them. I'm searching for it too, but through music and design. I often think the same of the karaoke diehards. It's their time to shine even though it's not their song and they are just singing with a cheesy recording. Don't get me wrong - I love karaoke once and a while but I'd much rather write my own stuff.

Anyways, back to the world of blogging. Probably about 2 years ago - I didn't even know what it was. Now -look at me- I have my own. But I've recently figured out that I am an extremely guarded person and don't like to let any one inside my head unless I know them. I always knew I could be quiet sometimes but it's come into my full attention since I've moved to a single apartment where it's just my puppy and I. Now it seems I'm turning to these entertaining blogs so I can almost live vicariously through them. Weird - I know. And pretty sad... Haha... Who loves calling themselves a looser???? It's me - It's me!!

Well, I guess I don't really have a point. haha.... I guess I'm just commenting on how many god damn blogs there are out there. Everyone and their sister's mother's best friend's dog have a frigin' blog. People will link their websites to death - everywhere they go. (you know who you are...) But if I had to pick a couple to tell people to go to it would be:

greggoconnell.com (he's really funny and a bit extreme)
pinkbeltrage.com (she is a fantastic writer and keeps you engaged)
rockstarmommy.com (she is pretty funny and is just a normal girl writing about girl stuff not giving a shit about what people think)

So - have fun reading and until next time my lovely readers... All 2 of you... I mean it. I love you man... and it's not just the wine talking...

Erica

Lovely Spots

2006-06-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

So I think I've decided long ago that I love San Diego and I believe I've expressed it but I think it's about time for me to talk about those places that really hold a special place in my heart.

First off I'll talk about Little Italy which is on the out skirts of downtown. I have to talk about this first because it's where I work and spend almost every lunch break, which I just got back from today... So, the day often will start out cloudy but by 11am it's sunny and warm and I can't wait to get outside. Now, most people know Little Italy because of India Street where there are tons of great Italian restaurants, but I go for other reasons. I used to go across the street and sit at this wonderful little fountain with mosaic tiles and sparkly cement but I've often found it a bit to busy for me. So I often take a walk to explore and be by myself. One day I walked a couple of blocks away from my work and happened to come across this absolutely beautiful park. It's all very light cement with an amphitheatre like setting with a gazebo where you can sit in partial shade. It then leads up to these sand pits where all the old Italian guys play Bocce and then leads up to an actual enclosed park were you can find tons of kids playing on a field or a play ground. The best part about this place is that it's almost always virtually empty and always clean. I love sitting at these concrete tables which are permanent figures there, where I can look over at the beautiful Italian church and take in all the vegetation and the sun. I truly feel at peace here. Not only is this park wonderful, the walk to and from is soooo nice. Again, it is always clean and there are these little houses, each of them different, tucked in between the bigger buildings, which gives Little Italy such character and warmth. I feel like I could live in many of the house or apartments around this area. It almost feels like home.

The next place I love in San Diego is Point Loma. But I'd have to say I'm a bit bias because that's where I live now. Most people think of the bay area and the touristy part of Point Loma, and although they do have a few good restaurants, I love the real people part. I actually live closer to Ocean Beach right next to the slough (which is where fresh water and salt water meet). OB is pretty cool, but Point Loma has just the right amount of mixture between beach life and real life. It's about a mile or so from the beach but less than a mile from Target and regular fast food places. I love Target and all but the real reason I love where I live is my apartment. My apartment is located at a dead end street in a nice neighborhood and over looks the slough. Every morning before I take my dogs out I open the blinds to a window which takes up a whole wall and I get to view such beauty I still can't get over it sometimes and I've been living there for almost 2 years. Everything is always green and there are flowers all year round. I will often see white cranes flying around unaware that they live in a city and not in the wilderness somewhere. It is so peaceful that sometimes I eat my breakfast in silence and just look outside.

There are many other place that I love in San Diego but my fingers are tired of typing, and I have yet to experience these places they way I have Little Italy and Point Loma. Overall, I love San Diego and still can't get over how I live in a vacation destination. I have no complaints and I don't want to leave. I'm sure I'll move someday but for now I'm loving the weather, sun and character of this place.

SD girl,
Erica

Relationship woes...

2006-05-01T15:47:00.000-07:00

So I've been reading a lot of articles lately. I know it will sound cheesy but they are love and relationship articles. I'm finding a lot of it I already know but parts of it seem a bit depressing. They talk about the stages of a relationship. First there's the initial going out on dates and wanting to spend all of your time with the other person, then it goes to more serious questions on compatibility of a long term future. By then the "love" feeling starts to dissipate. At this point you start to decide if you want to be with the person and try to work through the differences you have with each other and accept their flaws or not. If you decide to move ahead, communicate and are accepting of one another then you get to another, deeper level of love and intimacy. After that you get to a commitment stage where you know that if you can work through the earlier stuff you can survive the future stuff... It's basically something like that... What amazes me and depresses me is that having a relationship in general is very difficult and takes tons of work. I think most people (maybe just the younger ones) have this idealized vision of how a relationship should be. Myself included. I know it takes work, but if it takes too much work, is that right? If it's that difficult then maybe it shouldn't be. But after reading these articles it seems everyone in a relationship is going to have problems and the tie breaker is if you are willing to work through them or not.

Lately a few of my friends and I have been experiencing relationship bumps. The question that always comes up is, "How much can I handle?" Whether it be from stress, personality differences or communication problems, the question is always, "should I leave and if so - when?" In those articles it says in a new relationship that this point comes around 3-5 months. I've seen it twice already and felt one of them too much. But I think this point can come at anytime. I think stress can be a huge problem to solve. Not only in my own experiences, but with my friends too. They say if you can't love yourself, how can you love another? I think that rings true. Sad but true. Can stress pull apart a love forever? Would it ever be mend able? Would you want it to be?

There are just so many questions regarding love, relationships and breakups. If someone breaks up with you, do you make up reasons you would have been better off without them? Or are you doing just that - making it up? If you are breaking up with someone but don't fully know if you are doing the right thing, how do you decide? Do you actually write out the pros and cons about the other person or do you look at yourself and see the problems YOU have with accepting the other person. When are the problems too big to work through? And will acceptance of each other ever be fully there? There are so many loose ends. So many things that no one can answer for you or me.

So, I know we are always growing and learning from experiences, but when do you get to do this with a significant other that is ok with you the way you are? Or vice versa? When is the stress so bad that you need to be by yourself only and grow on your own? And when is enough, enough?

I know I don't have the answers but I hope someone does somewhere and can help my friends and I see the relationship light at the end of the tunnel... :) I love sounding intelligent. Haha...

Erica

March already??

2006-03-01T09:54:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't written in a while, but because I found out my best friend from highschool goes to my website every day... I should write. Meggie you rock.

I'm quite happy at the moment. I live in a nice warm place and granted I can't pay all of my bills things are still superb. I'm relaxed and disgustingly happy. Haha... I happened to meet someone who compleatly caught me off guard. Which is proving to be pretty wonderful. I'll just leave it at that.

You know what it wonderful? Sleep and caffiene. I love when I get a great night of sleep and am totally motivated about all the things I'm going to do in life. Not that I always carry through with them, but it's pretty fun to get excited about them. And caffiene is wonderful because, if you don't drink it often, when you drink it, it's like you had a couple of Sparks. (Sparks are caffiene drink-drinks in case you didn't know) And who doesn't want to feel a little buzzed at work? I notice so much more and I'm so happy and well... buzzed... haha. I've actually gotten in to a routine of when I have a half cup of coffee (filled with tons of sugar and cream) I start emailing the weirdest things to people. Mostly just random thoughts... "Random Thought - By Erica Putis" That's what I call it - even though I stole it from SNL. I'm my mind I always say it in Jack Handys voice... haha... Sigh... for SNL.

So when are you guys from New England going to come and visit me? I miss you all so much and want you to know you are always welcomed to come stay with me. Don't forget that it is sunny and about 70 degrees here right now... So it would really be worth it... :)

Well, I must go back to the exciting world of receptioning.

Take care all my lovely dumplings,

Erica

Drunk talk

2006-01-18T11:30:00.000-08:00

So I've gotten some slack about writting in this thing only when I'm drinking, but I was just reading joys website and she writes about drinking and all the good stuff that goes with it often and it seems just fine to me. Who cares if I don't take this blog thing sooo serously that I can only write in it when I have something profound to say. I basically never have anything profound to say and what better time to write non-profound things is when you are drunk? It may sound as though I might be a little tipsy right now by the way I'm defending the drunken blog writting, but unfortunatly I'm not. I'm sober as can be and loving being like Gregg. Haha...

So to all my sober and non-sober readers - feel free to leave drunken or non-drunken comments... :) I love them all!!!

Erica

The sun is all powerful.

2005-12-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a nice walk on my lunch break around downtown San Deigo. The warm weather and beauty that I noticed is just too overwhelming not to write about. Not to sound like too much of a hippy (although I did grow up in Vermont) it was truly relaxing and a beautiful and made me love life. The greenery and flowers and the sun... The sun in southern California is not like the sun in New England. When the sun is on you- you really feel it. It soaks into body and warms you instantly, even if it's chilly out. And when it's a clear out, the sky is so blue it blinds you. Who ever decided to make the sky blue was very smart. Blue is such a rich, happy color. It can make you feel so many things and can evoke so much emotion.

But I'm going off track here... I just wanted to express my love of San Diego's sun, beauty and warmth. All these things that make me very happy.

Forever a hippy,

Erica

On my way out

2005-11-18T15:55:00.000-08:00

So as most of you probably already know, I have decided to quit The Predicates. Yes, it is ever so sad, but I think we'll survive. I guess I have to give an explination or something... It was just time. No argument prompted this decision. I have just come to the conclusion that while Gregg and I make sweet, sweet music... It just wasn't happening anymore. Gregg is really a great musician and so creative and I really like the music we made, but when we joined forces it was few and far between. Gregg and are still friends and I really hope the best for the future of The Predicates. I'm not sure if I'm going to try to join another band or what I'm going to do, but I'm sure the future will tell me.

So... so long to all of those loyal fans, friends and family who have supported us since day one. I'm really going to miss it.

On a side note, I've realized that I haven't been a very good blogger... So when you comment on my entries I will respond like a good dooby.

Thanks lovely ladies and gents,

Erica

Wicked Cool Wicked Witch

2005-10-31T14:35:00.000-08:00

So Happy Halloween everyone!! It's so exciting because not only do I not dress up, I don't carve pumpkins, and I don't decorate for this fine holiday! I didn't even go out on Sat in an adult dress up way... But I have definatly eaten my fair share of candy. But that has nothing to do with Halloween... Haha... So I guess I have come to the conclusion that most holidays, including Halloween will never be quite as fun and exciting as it used to be when I was little.

I remember planning for months before Halloween about what I was going to be. My mom would often help me make the costume with her talent for sewing. My favorite costume was when I was an Indian Girl. I had my hair in braids, a cool head band, and had this weird red-brown smock thing that we made from a pattern. I just remember thinking I was so cool and so Indian looking. Haha... Then every year I would have my special pumpkin candy pail I would clutch and swing when I walked at my brothers side.

There were a couple of things that weren't all that great about Halloween though. First off we lived in Vermont so you actually needed your parents to drive you from house to house because they were so far apart from each other, and the other one thing that sucked was a lot different than the other kids in Vermont. My parents wouldn't allow my brother and I to eat artifical colors. So, what that meant was, after we would get home, mom and dad would go through all of candy and throw out about half of it. I would be sooo sad and would try to salvage anything that I could. I remember washing off the colored M&M's (the brown ones were ok) so that it would get to the layer of white below the colored part. Then we could eat it. It was hard work to get to the natural stuff... Haha... But as I got older I thought, "isn't brown a color that probably had artifical colors in it?" But I would never mentioned that to my parents. And guess what's my favorite candy now?? Right - M&M's. All the colors. I love them even more when they are crazy colors. Haha...

So the moral of this story is... Let your kids eat what they want because if you deprive them of something they may go over board when they are older. Sounds like a good idea to me...

Well, again have a wonderful Halloween and eat some colored M&M's for me.

Erica

You really care!!!!

2005-10-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

This goes out to all the peeps who actually want me to write in this thing...

Not much happening in my life so I think I'll write about someone you all probably know and admire: greggoconnell.com

Yes, the one and only has been making some pretty crazy videos lately which are filled with dancing, gayness, and nastyness. Unfortunatly I have been recruted to film these things. Disturbing wiggling bellies and ass cracks are all apart of the process but Gregg has now added a new element: a new, very white and hairless chest. Yesterday he goes into the bathroom and comes out a half hour later all proud to show me. But in his excitement he happened to miss about half of it... Haha... I figured I'd let him know about his patchy chest. I didn't want him to be hanging out with a girl and have her find that... So last night he wants to do another video of him as a mullet wearing white trash and needs to show of his hairless nipples... Haha... Still nasty but still very funny. And you can download it on his website... Along with his 80's gay dancing video that he is ever so proud of...

Go Gregg O'Connell. You are my hairless idol.

Thanks to all who read and want me to write. You guys are great too.

So long, lovely little dumplings,
Erica

8th Post for me...

2005-08-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

Gregg has got way too much time on his hands. He has posted his 100th blog entry... I think I'm on my 8th. But I do have to give it to him. His entries are pretty funny and sometimes interesting and his pictures and podcasts are good. Maybe someday I'll be as cool as him... Haha...

So I'm pretty much unemployed again and I don't know what I want to do. How do you figure that out? Maybe I'll just live in my car untill all my bills are paid off and then just stay living in my car, because I'm leasing it and it's basically like renting it, and then I will only have to work as much to pay my bill on it... How's that sound?

The other night I went to my friends house and had 2 beers and wasn't feeling it so I left early. The next day I spoke to her and it turns out 10 mins after I left the whole group I was hanging out with got attacked by some crazy druged up neighbors. Literally beaten up. Black eyes and swollen lips... The cops came and arrested the neighbor and they are going to file a complaint to the landlord. Crazy... It's so weird because I always stay really late and love hanging out with them but I really felt like I had to leave. Thank god for going with my gut feeling. I really believe someone or something told me to leave. If I stayed I would have flipped out. I'm such a wussy and I'm sure I would have been balling my eyes out. Well, in any case- they are fine and no one got really hurt, and I just want to say thanks for telling me to leave...

Well, I've got a pretty boring life so I'll go and write another entry when I've had a glass of wine someday in the future... Haha... Who doesn't like drinking by themselves? Haha...

See ya - wouldn't want to be ya!

Erica

Happy Birthday

2005-07-26T23:14:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to wish a couple of people a Happy Birthday. First off, my dad, then Lissa, and my mom in couple of days... (let me know if I forgot anyone). I want give a shoutout to Meggie and anyone else who happens to read my blog... Haha... I want to get rid of all of my dogs fleas.... I want to continue living my life as it is but do not want to work... I want to go to the beach all day and not worry about getting a sun burn... I want to some day get a house where I have a room for a real bar so I can entertain... I want my hair to look cool... I want all my friends to be happy in their lives... I want everyday to be exciting... I want to be stimulated and motivated like so many people I know... I want my want-wish-list to come true... Is that too much to ask???

Farewell lovely ladies and gents...

Who knows...

2005-06-15T19:19:00.000-07:00

So my mom got this message on her answering machine from our old preist and in the background there was this man speaking really fast as if informing or reading something. The priest listened to it and swears he heard nothing on his end of the phone. The only thing that my mom could make out was, "and that's what it takes to be a deacon". My father that just passed away was a deacon and had actually struggled with it for quite some time. He didn't really want to be one and his heart wasn't into it anymore, but even after a leave of absents, he still went back to it because he felt it was his obligation to the people of his church. Before he passed away he was gearing up for his retirement, which was less than a year away, where he was planning on moving out of Vermont to be disabled of his responsiblity of being a deacon. What if he died because his job on earth was done? What if the powers-that-be didn't want him not to be a deacon? Was he possibly some kind of martar? He was always giving and helping people but never was happy and always felt like he was never doing enough. He was the most self-less person I have ever met. Isn't that the story of martars? Conflicked but obligated? Could that message on my mom's machine be letting her know that he died for a reason? It was an informative message. It was defining the meaning of being a deacon. Maybe someone wants my mom to know that he didn't just die and leave her all alone for no reason. Some people ask God, "why did you take my loved one away?" but maybe we don't need to ask... Maybe someone was telling us why...

Who got fired?

2005-06-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

That's right... Gregg got fired. He loves it because it's all dramatic and exciting. But he is not looking forward to getting another lame ass job. I couldn't agree with him more. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to stay at my job either because of my boss (who just happens to sound alot like his boss that fired him), and then what? Just get another shitty job that I won't be happy in? Where do people find those jobs that they are just so happy about? I have never had one. I thought this job would be the closest, and it probably could have been, if it weren't for my boss. How-oh-how do I become a rockstar or win the lottery? Any idea- please let me know. Well, I must got to bed so I can work another day of 12 hours and 2 jobs. Working it fun!!!

The new birds on my head

2005-06-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

What up homeys of the night? I cut new bangs and I call them my birds... Just to explain the title. I'm going back East for 4th of July weekend... I'm starting to hate my job... This blogs is in no way as cool and hip and populare as Greggs. I don't even know why I write in it. I think I'm the only one who reads it anyway... You know what is sooo good that they don't have in New England? Really spicy Cheetos. They are really freakin' spicy so that they almost give you a belly ach... Haha... but ohh so good and fatty. I love being a fatty. I decided I have a crush on the lead singer of Blur... I'm going to be a girl and find a cute picture of him on my desktop. Well, that's all for my rambling... Take care ol' world of wonder!!

you take the good you take the bad the facts of life...the facts of life.

2005-05-21T03:26:00.000-07:00

I'm in love like GO... No just kidding, but I am happy and sad and werided out by lots of stuff and a bit too drunk. I think I may like being drunk a bit too much. My drummer left, I have no money and my dad died. Nothing else new. I'm just trying to be as cool as everyone else who has a bolg, feeling like I'm a god and people worshiping every word I say. Everyone only wishes they were as cool as me. I just want to thank anyone if they happened to do something nice for me or send me a card or money because my dad died. I really appreciate it and I don't know what else to say... I love warm nights, a full moon and palm trees... So beautiful. Someone said I had beautiful eyes tonight... And he wasn't trying to sleep with me (he's gay) I guess he didn't see all the fine lines and bags I'm starting to see. I think I should eat something...

What's this all about?

2005-03-06T22:00:00.001-08:00

Blogs to me, are a bit strange, because if you were to write in a real diary you would be able to write literally everything on your mind. But a blog on the internet is there for anyone to read, so how exactly can you be honest and real? I guess you just have to write about stuff that isn't extremely personal. You also can not write about people because then you may hurt their feelings or may mess up a relationship. So I'm not sure why I even have this thing. Gregg, my bandmate, has one and loves writing in it and I usually think it's a really egomaniac thing but one night after a glass of wine, I thought... Why not? I don't write in a journal anymore and maybe writing in general would help me with my sanity. But then again, I could just be talking out of my ass...

You love talking asses...

Well, I don't really know who I'm talking to, but have a good night and day and week, until I feel like writing something I'm not sure I want anyone to read... Haha...

Erica

yo

2005-02-27T20:58:00.000-08:00

Cool dude... You love blogs...