Everyone's got a bit of crazy eyes, right??

Sometimes I get in a place in my head that refuses to let me get out. I feel like I want to do something that is productive but instead I just sit and watch tv. Fuck tv. No- wait - I love tv but I don't like how it wastes half hour after half hour. Just because things aren't exactly the way you want them to be doesn't mean that life is shitty. It just mean you need to take a night off from trying to force something. Forcing anything in life is meaningless and fake. When I feel like I'm forcing something I feel uncomfortable and in turn make other people feel uncomfortable. My best bet is to just fucking chill out, take a deep breath and let time deal with it. Then I think how much easier it would be to be a hermit in the mountains of Vermont but then I remember that we as humans are social by nature and need to be around and communicate with others. But, damn, life is so much easier when you can just talk to yourself and your dog. Your dog understands everything. Even if he doesn't he, we think he does and that's all that matters. We are just trying to stay sane. Sane is a strange feature of life. I've lately come in contact with some not so sane actions and I'm not sure if I'm just being a fuddy-duddy or if I'm being logical like Dr. Spock, but I have an opinion about it and it's not very friend friendly. That makes me feel like a bad friend. But really, when someone goes a bit crazy there is not much I can do. I can tell them I'm worried and that's about it. I think the only crazy I can handle is my pup, because if you look at my flickr pictures you can see he's got the crazy eyes... I don't think I can handle the crazy eyes in a friend. So I say, ok.... and I have a glass of wine and let life churn around and around while I sit at my computer searching for something thats a little more sane than me... or my friend...

Saner than my dog,
EAP

Eating KFC is better than cooking it

There is this commercial on tv for this local culinary school that drives me fucking batshit crazy. They have these actors, musicians, comedians and dancers that come on the commercial showing what they can do but kinda making them seem like they are not that good, and then telling you if you are creative to not follow your dream but fucking take a class to become a cook. Fuck you dude!! I get so aggravated that this commercial is telling creative people to give up on their dreams and to become a cook because it makes more money. Might as well just have my mom on TV saying I should marry a rich doctor. And I'm not in any way saying that cooking is not creative... Because if you are into that, then it's very creative, but to say that there is a slim to none chance of you making money on your real dream is really fucking shitty. There are so many people in the world right now not doing what they want because of money, and to have this commercial put down creative jobs for a better paying creative job is lame.

I guess when I talk to my mom and she tells me she wishes she had become a psychologist instead of a secretary it kinda hits home. Her mom told her to become a secretary like her sister because it makes good money and is steady. And now - she is almost at retirement age and still trying to decide what she wants to do for a living. We live in the U. S of A and we have the freedom to pick what we want to do for 40 hours a week, every day, in and out, for our entire lives. Why not take advantage? So you have to give up Starbucks coffee and can only buy one drink at the bar, I think it's a pretty fair trade considering you spend most of your life working.

So get up off your lazy ass and do what you want. Not what the commercial tells you to do. Unless it's getting some KFC, because, lets be serious... that shit looks awesome. Ummm....

Erica (the motivational speaker)

The Mundane Made Into Fun Time!!!

The most productive time of the day for me is at 11pm at night after 2 and 1/2 glasses of wine. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. I literally just spent the last hour making an awesome veggie salad, doing the dishes and cleaning the stove. I'm not shitting you. Pretty buzzed, doing chores and have the best time.

So I've decided to put a memo out. That's right. When you read this in the morning there will be a nice memo on your desk (on pink paper with brown stripes - actually I don't even own stationary but if I did... Pink with brown stripes, baby...) and it will say:

To Whom It May Concern:

From this point and time it is required that if you have to do chores that you have a glass of wine before hand because it's way more fun and you get to talk to yourself out loud about all the grim and stuff you try to stuff down the drain, with no regard to what people think of you. You know... Because you are talking to yourself and all and you don't care because you are drunk...

If you do not follow these instructions you will be fired. Donald Trump style. That's right. I said it. Whatchu goin' do 'bout it??

Sincerely,

Da Boss (Not Bruce Springsteen)

So, you better fall in line because not only will the boss be on your ass you will have fun doing mundane things!!! I'm fucking genius...I know... You can thank me with a check made out to Erica A. Putis.

Love,
Erica A. Putis

Take a breather, man...

I feel like I've had caffeine... Without the hyper. My heart is fluttering and my chest is tight. My mind wonders from one topic to another at lightning speed. I wish it was coffee doing this but I'm pretty sure it's anxiety. My breath is shallow and if I stand up too fast I feel light headed. I'm not sick... Not at all.

It's amazes me how powerful our minds are. A simple thought can take our physical self and turn it inside out at the drop of a hat. Did you know that an anxiety attack can be brought on by sight or sound? It could be completely subconscious. You could very well mistake it for a heart attack if you have never had one. My friend taught me about them long ago so I know the signs, although saying I'm having a heart attack is a pretty dramatic thing to say to get a rise out of the person you are with...

This year has brought upon me many changes. I love changes. I love that things move and life is not stagnant. If I feel like my life is stuck, I itch to get out. Right now, though... Nothing is stuck. I feel like great things are in store, but I can't ignore the not-so-good things. Often they are out of my control. As much as I would like to have an influence, I make no difference to the situation.

So I sit and wait. I work on what I can and I wait. This waiting is controlling my breathing, the pulse of my heart and my mind is cluttered. Not all bad clutter, but clutter non-the-less...

I've actually been wanting to write in this blog lately but who wants to read about non-amusing things? This was my source for a long time to write about only random, light Erica thoughts, but I don't feel like forcing the funny anymore. Don't get me wrong - I love myself some funny but sometimes just writing for myself is important too. It feng shui's my head into a better, cleaner living environment. So I'm setting the terms for this blog as follows:

I will write when I want.
I will write whatever the fuck I want.
And I will not care if you like it or not.

Wow - I sound like a bitch, huh? A rhyming bitch?? I swear I'm not. (a regular bitch) I'm still a very sweet girl who like to talk like a sailor... And maybe dress like one... What??? Haha...

See!! I'm crackin' jokes already. And my breathing has slowed... Already proof that when I do what I want, I'm better off. I hope you guys do the same because wearing a sailor suit can get you a lot of ass. Hahahaha...

Good times. Love you all.
Erica