Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Mundane Made Into Fun Time!!!


The most productive time of the day for me is at 11pm at night after 2 and 1/2 glasses of wine. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. I literally just spent the last hour making an awesome veggie salad, doing the dishes and cleaning the stove. I'm not shitting you. Pretty buzzed, doing chores and have the best time.

So I've decided to put a memo out. That's right. When you read this in the morning there will be a nice memo on your desk (on pink paper with brown stripes - actually I don't even own stationary but if I did... Pink with brown stripes, baby...) and it will say:

To Whom It May Concern:

From this point and time it is required that if you have to do chores that you have a glass of wine before hand because it's way more fun and you get to talk to yourself out loud about all the grim and stuff you try to stuff down the drain, with no regard to what people think of you. You know... Because you are talking to yourself and all and you don't care because you are drunk...

If you do not follow these instructions you will be fired. Donald Trump style. That's right. I said it. Whatchu goin' do 'bout it??

Sincerely,

Da Boss (Not Bruce Springsteen)

So, you better fall in line because not only will the boss be on your ass you will have fun doing mundane things!!! I'm fucking genius...I know... You can thank me with a check made out to Erica A. Putis.

Love,
Erica A. Putis

13 comments:

Jay said...

Okay, well I'll fall into line. Cause you know I'm all about following the rules. So, if the new rule is get drunk on wine before doing anything productive, then that's what I'll do. In fact I'll start drinking wine even earlier than I do now. Like, I'll have some with lunch maybe. ;-)

M@ said...

I thought it stood for Erica Advanced Placement. :(

CarmenSinCity said...

First off - I am super impressed about all the blogging you've been doing lately. Secondly, I loved doing chores fucked up. If I ever relapse, I'm going to get drunk and do lots of chores. Maybe my house will finally be clean.

CarmenSinCity said...

First off - I am super impressed about all the blogging you've been doing lately. Secondly, I loved doing chores fucked up. If I ever relapse, I'm going to get drunk and do lots of chores. Maybe my house will finally be clean.

Erica AP said...

Jay: Wine at lunch is key because then you can go back to work and not be bothered by mundane work things!! Wine just makes everything better. Hahah... God - the Erica girl sure is a lush...

Matt: No. I'm not that smart and never was. Are you trying to rub it in my face that my brother was and I'm not? :)

Carmen: Thanks!! Blogging is fun again! But I don't want you to even think about relapsing... You are awesome just the way you are. :)

The Diva's Thoughts said...

HAHA! You are hilarious.

Steph said...

Dude, you soooo earned an assload of points in my book just now. Doing chores while drinking is the ONLY way to get shit done.

That's right, I used the word "assload" and "shit" just there. This comment is now rated PG-13.

Mr. Bud said...

I'm not all computer savvy, just can't seem to jump on the myspace, google reader bandwagon. So I have to do drive bys and see if your light is on. Then of course, if they are, I park and get out my goggles. (Especially of those I really like... looking at)

I'm so glad your writing again. and i love the new diggs.

as for the post... I'm self employed. My boss said don't come to work unless your ripped.

Erica AP said...

Diva: Thanks!! I think I'm funny when I'm drunk. Haha...

Steph: Your language kind of offends me. Please refrain from it next time you comment. Thank you. :)

Mr. Bud: Well I appreciate you stopping by... Next time I will have a drink ready for you along with some smores... Because, really, who doesn't like smores??? :)

Phronk said...

I also drink before doing mundane work, like chores and school and teaching. It also makes after-work relaxing time a lot more relaxing. I also drink before and during social events.

Hmmm...wait...that's all the time.

Cheers?

Erica AP said...

Phronk: The key to drinking all the time is to not let anyone find out. Then there is no proof that you are an alcoholic. Right?? Maybe that's just what I tell myself??? haha...

Phronk said...

Haha yeah. And if a close friend is acting strangely and wants to meet you somewhere for vague reasons, avoid that meeting at all costs. It's probably an intervention.

Erica AP said...

You are probably right. I'll keep an eye out for that. Haha... :) Or maybe it's not so funny???