Friday, September 07, 2007

Will we be stuck in bed???

So, I've been shit loads of busy lately, you know with relaxing over Labor Day weekend and haven't found the time to write in this lovely little space. I started getting complaints from a bunch of you. (Ok - maybe just 2 of you - a girl can dream... Sometimes I dream about rainbows and unicorns and then I think to myself, what a minute - I'm not Rainbow Bright, silly!!) So I half jokingly asked my good friend Matt if he wanted to guest post and wouldn't you know he did!! Not only is it short and sweet, it's also the best post I've...ur... Matt has ever written. So give it up to the one and only, deep thoughts by Matt Handy:

I've been thinking lately that our oil addiction is becoming scary. Aren't we gonna run out someday? And what goes back down into the earth to compensate for all of that thick, heavy, crude oil. What if the planet gets too light? Will that affect our orbital path or revolution trend? If so the weather will definitely become more volatile. Gravity could be altered and we will either float out of bed or be stuck on it unable to overcome the force of our new super gravity. Scary stuff!! Then while listening to Howard Stern, Robin Quivers came up with the best possible solution- "Walk to work Thursdays!!"
Bad blogging at its best! -Matt

Not bad blogging at all Matt!!! Good stuff for the mind and soul!!! My heart is now warm with thoughts of oil and gravity...

Erica

25 comments:

Gregg O'Connell said...

i already feel a little lighter after reading matt's thoughts....i did just pump 2 gallons of oil out of the ground and was sweating pretty bad though so maybe it was that

The Diva's Thoughts said...

HAHAHA! Good stuff!

CarmenSinCity said...

I don't even like walking to the car. Sheesh!

Erica AP said...

Gregg: You need to drink some spring water and not filtered water!! Keep hydrated, son!!!

Diva: I'll let Matt know you dig his style. :)

Carmen: No shit!! I think they should start building those flat escalator things everywhere, like in the Jetsons, so we don't have to walk anywhere!!

M@ said...

Ha. Rainbow fucking Erica with her little pony.

Jay said...

Gravity sucks.

If the pull of gravity become less doesn't that mean we will weigh less? Or is it more? Damn, we need to know the answer to that before we go any further and before we can take a position on whether this is a good thing or bad thing.

Erica AP said...

Matt: I know you love My Little Pony's as much as I do. I heard you have a bunch of them you stash in the top shelf of your closet. :)

Jay: You sound pretty distraught over this. Maybe you should just have a beer and relax. Maybe watch some Golden Girls to make you feel all warm and fuzzy again.

Erica AP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
James Burnett said...

Cars suck. And I don't mean that 'cause I'm green. Well, maybe I'm a little green. But cars suck, 'cause people who live in South Florida - even the two or three, including me and my wife, who have driver's licenses - can't drive worth a damn. So, in order to keep from having an anger-induced stroke, I have grown accustomed to taking the train to work two or three days a week. Whatever we lose in the earth's core in oil weight will be made up for in A-hole weight, I'm sure.

Erica AP said...

James: Haha... A-hole weight. Haha... That's funny and too true. Trains are fun because you can look out the window and day dream. Ponies and rainbows... Ahhhhhhhh...

Tammie Jean said...

Hmmm... It takes me an hour or more to drive to work, which probably translates to about 15 hours of walking. Sadly, I lack the dedication to work or conservation to make that kind of effort.

Phronk said...

Come to think of it, lately I have been feeling like I'm sucked into my bed more than I used to be. I think it's more from stuffing oil-soaked chicken wings into my mouth than burning oil in my car, though.

Erica AP said...

Tammie: I think in your case it would be acceptable. In my case, not so much. I'm actually really thinking about getting rid of my car since I live in the city. I'm a little scared to do it though. :)

Phronk: Haha... Greasy chicken wings are awesome. They make you feel like shit and make an indent on your mattress. Maybe you should get a waterbed? But then you might get a cramp because I heard you weren't supposed to go in the water right after you eat. I'm at a loss and have no advice for you... So sorry. Oh wait... You never asked for my advice, did you?

Queen of Dysfunction said...

C'mon, be honest with us Erica. Matt isn't real. Matt is one of your many alter-egos.

Erica AP said...

QofD: If Matt was my alter ego I would broadcast it to the world because he's a pretty freaking cool cat. I was quite impressed with how well he captured my ramble-on train of thought, so I could see how you would think it was me writing it. :)

Phronk said...

I always value your sage advice. With you at a loss, I am at a loss also. I want the shitty feeling of chicken wings in my belly, but don't want to drown in a waterbed. How can I go on living with this constantly hanging over me?

WHAT HAS MATT DONE?!

Erica AP said...

Phronk: I think that drowning in a waterbed would be an awful way to die. But so wouldn't choking on a chicken bone. Isn't that how one of the members of The Mamas and The Papas died? Spooky, man!!!!

velvet said...

I walk to work every day. Of course, it helps that I work at home. ;)

M@ said...

EricaAP, I want to see YOU riding a pony.

Anonymous said...

Ok Erica I've been doing some research and found out that those brilliant oil engineers inject a saline solution back into the monstrous cavaties in the earth to compensate for weight loss. Now I think of myself as a somewhat intelligent guy and I think a pound of oil is way heavier than a pound of saline!!!!!
Matt

Erica AP said...

Velvet: It does help because then you won't get out of breath!! :)

Matt Animalmind: Don't be creepy dude!!! Haha...

Matt: Really? I had no idea that actually do that... But doesn't that mean that water is coming from somewhere else and it's really just moving one liquid to another spot?? The dynamics of this idea is too much for my little brain. :)

Captain Smack said...

I agree that this is a problem, and the way I fight back is to go around my neighborhood at night and siphon gas out of people's cars. Then I dig a hole and pour the gas in, thereby replenishing the Earth with that which we have robbed from her.

I guess you could say I'm sort of an environmentalist.

Sarcastica said...

So that explains why I am floating...in the air. Like wow.

Grundir the Implacable said...

This post confuses and enrages me.

Erica AP said...

Captain Smack: I'm touched by your do-goodness. If only others would dig holes and put gas in them... A girl can dream.

Sarcastica: Holy shit... You float in the air? Can you teach me?

Grundir the Implacable: I'm sorry I've evoked such strong feelings in you. Maybe the is your time to do something and be the superman we are all searching for...