Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Chimps or birds??
If you could be any animal, what would you be? I just got done watching a show on PBS about chimpanzees and I'd have to say it was fucking amazing. Whether you believe in evolution or not, it's crazy the similarities between humans and chimps.
They like to eat, I like to eat. They like to squawk at the top of their lungs, I like to squawk at the top of my lungs. They like to groom each other, I like to groom myself. They make tools, I act like a tool. It really quite uncanny.
So I was thinking that if I had to be an animal I might want to be a chimp because it's kinda like a human but without all the drama. Don't get me wrong... They have drama but at least they don't snap their fingers and say, "talk to the hand." Right? And I wouldn't have to worry about wearing make-up and shit. Actually - I take that back... I'm kinda of a girly-girl and like wearing make-up. But just because I'm a girly-girl doesn't mean I can't kick some mad ass!!! Mad chimpanzee ass!!! So back off bitch!! Haha...
But then sometimes I'll have dreams where I'll be a bird, flying high without the aid of drugs... I'll just be floating away like a sappy, happy love bird. (no - I'm not having sex in the air in my dream - I mean "love bird" like, "I love the world" hippie bird. An asexual hippie bird. WAIT!!! Birds don't have sex, silly!!) When you fly in your dreams it's quite thrilling. You wake up feeling like you can take on the world.
So if I HAD to pick, which one would I choose? A womanly chimp or a hippie birdie?
I think I might have to go with the bird because if I've learned anything from my childhood, it's that Sesame Street's Big Bird is way over do for a make over. And I'm not talking about some blush here... I'm talking about a Ms. Big Bird. So move over gay Big Bird - I've got something meatier!! I'm strong, yellower, a bird and ALL woman.
Are you all with me? Is the world ready for a Ms. Big Bird?
Delusional and very weird,