Sunday, April 08, 2007

I'm ashamed - very ashamed...


Damn you... Damn you and all your games and good writers. Yeah - I'm talking you, Mr. and Mrs. I'm So Awesome. You're the one who's making me this, this... this pimping-out-whore. I can't help myself. Once and while the whoreness come out and just needs to be written about...

First off - blogger idol - What the fuck are you doing, trying to make me famous?? Don't you know I can't handle that kind of pressure? I mean - the judging and ass kissing are just too much for a girl like me to handle... And me, competing against some of my favorite writers?? Are you trying to make me turn against my only internet friends I have? Damn you to hell, be-atch!! I'm strong and can handle it, and because I've declared myself the rebel in the competition, I'm going to tell you that I actually don't give a shit if I win... It's an ass kissing, biased show and I don't even really want to be apart of it... But if for some strange reason you guys want to vote for me, I guess I would be ok with that... But it's not like I really care or anything... Fuck... Where's my stress ball???

And here I am - whoring myself out again... this recorder and producer is just too fucking awesome that I feel cheap just talking about. Yes... He takes my music and my bands music to levels only the ocean floor can understand, but sometimes I just don't know whether to rejoice with love or scream in fear of his awesomeness... Damn you for making me a pimping-out-whore...

And you know what, Mr. and Mr. Atomic?? I know that I'm a rock star that can't be bothered with any kind of interview, but I'd have to say out of all the Rolling Stone's interviews I've done - yours has got to be one of the best... And what do I do??? I fucking pimp you out... Why, you say? Because you are the next Carson Daly. Plain and simple, you guys are tan, skinny and know how to ask some god damn great questions.

Now that I feel used and abused - I just want you to know that I only pimped and whored myself out for the good of mankind. I would add tons of other, but my urge to sit in the fetal position with the shower on cold and "My Name is Luca" blaring on the stereo it just too hard to ignore...

So, because I'm a rebel rock star - go fucking vote for me OR your favorite blog on Blogger Idol, tell people to record with the master of masters and read how bassass I really am in my interview.

I'm crying and holding my teddy bear and he's telling me to come to bed... Bastard - always telling me what to do...

I love you, my heart and soul of my ego...

Erica AP

73 comments:

Captain Smack said...

Alright Erica, consider it done. And don't feel bad - I'm about to hit you up with a similar (yet less shameful) request of my own, so be on the lookout.

dave evanns said...

Anything to help out our dear Erica!

The Diva's Thoughts said...

You are too funny! lol

Gregg O'Connell said...

you can't handle the awesomeness that is blogger idol!
the pressure is too much for most people!
dont fall, falter or break!
you're awesome!

Jay said...

Okay, so I went over and voted for you on blogger idol.

I'm splitting my votes between you and the Queen here in the early rounds. I guess at some point I will have to make a decision though. I fear that day.

Erica AP said...

Captain: What is this you are going to ask me to do? You know I'm an extremely busy girl...

Dave: I feel the strength of the seas between us.

Diva: Thanks!! I hope you come back!

Gregg: No need to boost my ego... I'm fucking J-lo in my head.

Jay: I always knew I could count on you... It's nice of you to support the girls of Blogger Idol. :)

Anonymous said...

My vote(s) is in. Hey is there a limit to how many times I can vote for you?
Matt

Erica AP said...

Matt: You can vote as much as you want, sweety!! :)

Anonymous said...

FROM 2% TO 5% OF THE VOTES. I'M WORKIN IT-MATT

Erica AP said...

Matt: You always did know how to work it and that one of the reasons I love you. Haha... Thanks for hookin' a girl up!

Paul Hughson said...

On the one hand, I'm so damn happy because Erica was talking about us, and my two favorite things in this world are The Atomic Blog (http://theatomicblog.wordpress.com/) and Erica Putis...

...but then she says "Carson Daly." Ughn.

The Atomic Blog (http://theatomicblog.wordpress.com/) is much more "Jimmy Kimmell." We are funny, up late and have sex with Sarah Silverman.

Paul Hughson said...

By the way, you can read our blog at:
http://theatomicblog.wordpress.com/

dave evanns said...

and don't forget to go HERE and see one bad ass blog! Or you can just read THIS one, or THE ATOMIC BLOGworks also.

Erica AP said...

Paul: Yes - it was nice of me to link you... And no - guys aren't like Carson Daly... And yes - you should have sex with Sarah Silverman... And yes - linking your site in my comments is ok.

Dave: Like I said to Paul... Linking is part of the game. Badda-bing-badda-boom!!

Anonymous said...

I'm failing you Eica. These people are relentless voters!!! Matt

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Erica, it's ok. There, there... I voted for you. Just to encourage the whoring. Well, that and the fact that you are THE best blogger on the web. Like, for serious.

...and I think that the Jesus-as-cop icon is probably the most inappropriate thing I have ever seen on the web. Which is why I just fell out of my chair laughing. Captain Smack, if you go to hell for that I want to be on the bus with you.

Malathionman said...

I read your interview on the blog that I didn't vote for. You get flashed? Man, I hate that when it happens!

Erica AP said...

Matt: I appreciate your all-giving attitude and voting stamina but you are right - they are relentless and I guess, may the best blogger win. :( I'm strong - I think I can handle it.

QofD: I think we all know who is going to win this popularity contest... It's you my dear because - you are the best. And I know - Captain is defiantly going to hell... Haha...

Malathionman: I know!! It sucks that I get flashed sometimes but I guess those are just some of the drawbacks of being a rock star. :)

SaM-GiRL said...

hahahahahahahaha you crazy bitch! lol!

Queen of Dysfunction said...

I still like Captain Smack though. Even if he is going to hell. I mean, crap... I haven't even had a chance to check out his blog and I'm in love.

Erica, I'm going over to vote a bunch for you right now. Because you, my dear, deserve to be Blogger Idol.

dave evanns said...

Linking? Did I link to our site? I didn't even realize that I did that!

Erica AP said...

Sam: Who you calling a bitch!! :)

QofD: You are a true friend but we both know that you are going to win this thing... And when it comes down to it and I can no longer vote for myself I will vote for you all I can. :) And don't forget the cookies. Haha...

Dave: It's weird, because it looks like you kinda linked yourself all over again... It's weird how that happens and you don't even know it's happening...

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Erica, you won't get cookies. You'll get booze.

...and I just voted for you and Travis a ton, so hopefully we'll form our triumverate and take over the blogosphere.

Jay said...

Holy crap Erica! I voted my ass off for you yesterday and thought you had it made. But then I saw this morning that you just barely got through. Damn, that was close!

I'll have to do even more today.

See groupies .. er .. fans are good for something, right?



Did I say groupies?? Oh well, I guess groupies are still above stalkers, right? I never can remember. ;-)

Matt said...

Don't you know you're chasing a gay man, Erica?

I mean, not that *I* have gaydar but jesus, Greg is a unit. :)

Erica AP said...

QofD: You really know the way to my heart. Booze is just a little higher than being warm (although I don't think you could give me that) and chocolate...

Jay: Really? You fucking rock... Groupie or stalker... I'll take anything I can get with this cut throat game!

Matt: I'm not chasing Gregg - he's gay!!! Haha... He says he's not but I think we all know better...

dave evanns said...

Erica, I found the problem and it has been resolved. No more linking.

And damn, you got some votes racking up today! NICE!

Erica AP said...

Dave: I'm glad you figured it out because it could start to be a problem and you might have to go on some 12 step program...

The Boob Lady said...

I love you.

The Boob Lady said...

And Paul? Erica and your blog are your two favorite things? That's not what you said last night.

Kristi said...

I'm a little freaked out by that bear up there. I might have bad dreams tonight, thanks to you.

Erica AP said...

Boob Lady: I love you too and when it comes down to it I'll vote for you too.

Kristi: Haha... I laughed so hard when I saw that picture... Haha... Sorry for giving you nightmares.

Matt said...

Um from Vermont... and I do what ah want.

punky said...

we are neck and beck right now

Erica AP said...

Matt: It's ok - I know what the strains of growing up in VT will do to a person... If you ever want to talk - just say the word.

Punky: Do you like that show Becker? Haha... May the best girl win!! Which will probably be QofD. :)

Jay said...

Holy smokes Erica! You have a HUGE lead today! I haven't had to vote for you since you such a huge lead.

Who is it that has obviously spent his entire day just voting for you? Somebody really loves you.

After you win, you might consider taking out a restraining order against this person. hahahaha

Erica AP said...

Jay: I know!! It's weird! Did you send me a stalker from your site?? If you did - thank you. Haha...

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Erica, if I were you I would wait until you are crowned Blogger Idol before taking out the restraining order. I mean, if your voter-stalker is taken away in cuffs that might impact you negatively. Do they have internet in jail?

Jay said...

Erica, I don't know if your new "fan" came over from my blog or not. But, you know what? I'm gonna take complete fucking credit for this. I mean, somebody has to, right? It might as well be me. ;-)

Erica AP said...

QofD: You are right... I need all the votes I can get - but if he/she can vote from jail that would be super cool.

Jay: You are my fucking savior. Plain and simple.

Tammie Jean said...

Hi Erica! I went over and voted for you a few times. To my dismay, I found that I was once in the running. How the heck did my name get up there? Sadly, I was deemed boring and was out of consideration rather quickly. Oh well. You still have my vote!

Erica AP said...

Tammie: I don't know what Gregg's strategy was but he put a bunch of blogs up that I assume he thought were good... And he didn't tell anyone... What a weirdo. Maybe he found yours on my blogroll?? Thanks for the vote anyway!!! :)

Michael C said...

I will vote for you. I will. I will.

Mad Voter said...

Erica I'm your secret mad voter!
Yestarday almost 3000 votes for you!
You're first right now!

velvet girl said...

I just went and voted for you... and was surprised to find that my blog had been in the running at one point?! HA! To find out in the space of one minute that I had been nominated and eliminated. Maybe I would have tried harder had I known. LOL! I still would have voted for you, though. :)

By all means, promote yourself so that we can find out how even more fabulous you are than we already knew! Love the music by the way. Oh, and thanks for the link!

Erica AP said...

Michael C: Thanks a bunch-o!!

Mad voter: WHO ARE YOU!!! Thanks for the crazy ass votes! :)

Velvet: I know - a lot of people didn't even know they were in the game in the beginning... But thanks for you unending support. :) And thanks for checking out my music too!

dave evanns said...

You get on Blogger Idol, and your true fans come out Erica!

If you don't win I will be shocked.

Erica AP said...

Dave: Really? I could be a winner for once in my life? Wait - if you are so sure are you the "mad voter?" Everyone's a crazy bitch!!! AND I LOVE IT!!!

Natalie said...

You are
A
Bad
Mamma
Jamma:

Damn Girl
How'd you get all that in
Dem Jeans
Dem Jeans
How'd you get all that in Dem
Damn Girl
How'd you get all that
(Is you talkin to me?)
Yeah you
I bet you had to jump up and down
Just to put 'em on
Bet you had to wiggle it around
Just to put 'em on
Bet you had to lay back on the bed
Just to zip 'em up
Am I right?
(You right)
Baby thats whats up

(LOL)
DA..Yum...Girl...

Erica AP said...

Natalie: Is this a new version of the "My Humps" song?? Whatever it is, I wish I could hear you sing it live...

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Erica, does that Blogger Idol crown weigh heavy on your head yet?

;)

Natalie said...

It's by Chingy... and has a snappy lil' ring to it. In fact, my partner has it as her ringtone and it drives me nuts because it sticks in my head.
Go sample it.
It'll stick in your head, too.

Erica AP said...

QofD: Here's my plan - I'm going to get a tiara and cut it in half and mail one half to you so we can both wear the crown and then Travis will get to be even more manly because he will have 2 women to protect with his manly guns.

punky said...

http://quibblo.com/quiz/mfdPa/Who-would-you-like-to-see-win-Blogger-Idol

Erica AP said...

Natalie: I probably know that song but I'll look it up anyway. I love myself some Chingy even if he is only 18 years old. :)

Erica AP said...

Punky: Did you set that up? Fun times. :)

WAT said...

Excuse me darling, but we need a new blog post deperately here!

Thank you! :)

Erica AP said...

WAT: I sorry darling, but I only post once a week... Usually on Sundays or Mondays. That's when I have scheduled time for it. Haha... I'm a busy girl!!

alexgirl said...

Aw! that sounds so stressful. You're totally gonna get sympathy votes because you're like a ticking time bomb! just kidding. I'm totally going to vote for you.

Erica AP said...

Alex: Thanks - I need it because if I explode I'm pretty sure it would be messy... And who would clean it up?

Queen of Dysfunction said...

WOO HOO! Erica, you have reached the big six-oh comment mark. This practically makes you, like RSM or something. Doesn't it? Doesn't it?

Erica AP said...

QofD: I couldn't have done it without you... Or myself because about half of the comments are mine... Haha... But if you want to compare me to RSM that's fine but just to let you know - I don't think I'm punk and I will never take a picture of myself (or my shoes) and call it a "self portrait."

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Erica, then you're cooler than RSM just because you don't take pictures of yourself and call it a self portrait. Oh, and you live on the west coast. So yeah, you're automatically cooler.

Erica AP said...

QofD: You are very cool for saying that I'm cool... Cool?? Cool.

Natalie said...

Ya'll are too cool to rule!

tony said...

I just checked out your myspace page. Wowsy. You sound just like Julie Ritter from Mary's Danish. Ever heard of them, youngster?

captain corky said...

know me, for I am Corky and I am your friend.

Erica AP said...

Natalie: You can be in our cool click too. :)

Tony: Humm - never heard of her... I will defiantly check it out. Thanks for checking out my music. :)

Captain Corky: I'm proud and honored to be your friend, sir!!

Jay said...

WOW! I'm comment #69. I've always wanted to be #69. 69 is just such a cool number.

tony said...

Erica, just in case you can't find a Mary's Danish song....I uploaded one for you. A reasonable facsimile!

Erica AP said...

Jay: Haha... Yeah - I'd have to admit that 69 is a pretty sweet number. :)

Tony: I did look up some of her resent stuff and it's really good but that song you uploaded really does sound like me... Crazy!! Thanks for showing me... :)

Miss Misery said...

I will most definitely vote for you, because you spent all that time whoring you out!!

The interview was really funny by the way; cracked me up. You are a very funny girl!! Which is why you are blogrolled...and why I visit your blog often. Yup. Just stating the obvious here.

Erica AP said...

Miss Misery: Thanks for checking out my interview!!! You rock!