Sunday, March 04, 2007
The award goes to...
Let just start out by saying that I'm fucking funny. Ok? Now that we got that straight I'd like to thank a couple of people for my funniness. (spell check didn't even pick on that word!! Crazy!!) First off, I'd like to thank God, because that who every one thanks, even if I don't know if I believe in him, but just in case he's the one who made me funny - I'd like to thank him. Second I'd like to thank my brother for teasing me so much that in my crying I would eventually start laughing, even if it was a slightly psychotic laugh. Third but not last I would like to thank my real savior, alcohol. It's been with me through thick and thin and I know, that without it, I wouldn't be where I am today. Just a few shout outs: Thanks vodka, beer and Pinto Grigio - I love you man and I'll never forget you...
(cue cheesy-ass, lame-ass, stupid-ass music)
Damn... for all the work I've done you'd think there would be more of a pay off than just a 1 min speech. I mean, I sweat blood and tears for this thing and all they can give me is a fucking blogger medal? (I just made that up - in case you didn't know, they don't give out medals for being funny. Although if they did - maybe people would not do those damn memes anymore... Just a thought for the blog mafia. It was just a suggestion - please don't shoot me! I'm really good at the craps table - maybe I can win you some money??? Well, I'm not that good, but maybe I can win you 40 bucks or something...)
What? Where am I? Oh... the blog award for the funniest chick. Well, actually I think it's a crock of shit but who am I to question the holy grail of blog reviews? Actually - they don't even have blog awards on their website. They are just brutally honest and funny as hell and so in my book, because they gave me the award (or you could read "award" as good review) they are not only my new best friend but my mother and my new religion. All wrapped up into one. Crazy, huh? I never knew that those things could be combined either but wouldn't you know, it happened. I can only pray for all you out there that you be as blessed as I have been.
So, now that I've been writing for a while and realized I have written a real crock of shit, you now have to go to their website, because not only did they say to come to mine, they are sexy beasts and they all know it, which makes everyone happy in the end.
Go on now and be good little boys and girls and maybe, just maybe I'll thank YOU in my next speech. (even if it is in my apartment, at 12:56am, with a bottle of wine and my dog as the audience)
Funniest bitch on the west side of that house down the street,