Sunday, March 04, 2007

The award goes to...


Let just start out by saying that I'm fucking funny. Ok? Now that we got that straight I'd like to thank a couple of people for my funniness. (spell check didn't even pick on that word!! Crazy!!) First off, I'd like to thank God, because that who every one thanks, even if I don't know if I believe in him, but just in case he's the one who made me funny - I'd like to thank him. Second I'd like to thank my brother for teasing me so much that in my crying I would eventually start laughing, even if it was a slightly psychotic laugh. Third but not last I would like to thank my real savior, alcohol. It's been with me through thick and thin and I know, that without it, I wouldn't be where I am today. Just a few shout outs: Thanks vodka, beer and Pinto Grigio - I love you man and I'll never forget you...

(cue cheesy-ass, lame-ass, stupid-ass music)

Damn... for all the work I've done you'd think there would be more of a pay off than just a 1 min speech. I mean, I sweat blood and tears for this thing and all they can give me is a fucking blogger medal? (I just made that up - in case you didn't know, they don't give out medals for being funny. Although if they did - maybe people would not do those damn memes anymore... Just a thought for the blog mafia. It was just a suggestion - please don't shoot me! I'm really good at the craps table - maybe I can win you some money??? Well, I'm not that good, but maybe I can win you 40 bucks or something...)

What? Where am I? Oh... the blog award for the funniest chick. Well, actually I think it's a crock of shit but who am I to question the holy grail of blog reviews? Actually - they don't even have blog awards on their website. They are just brutally honest and funny as hell and so in my book, because they gave me the award (or you could read "award" as good review) they are not only my new best friend but my mother and my new religion. All wrapped up into one. Crazy, huh? I never knew that those things could be combined either but wouldn't you know, it happened. I can only pray for all you out there that you be as blessed as I have been.

So, now that I've been writing for a while and realized I have written a real crock of shit, you now have to go to their website, because not only did they say to come to mine, they are sexy beasts and they all know it, which makes everyone happy in the end.

italk2much.com

Go on now and be good little boys and girls and maybe, just maybe I'll thank YOU in my next speech. (even if it is in my apartment, at 12:56am, with a bottle of wine and my dog as the audience)

Funniest bitch on the west side of that house down the street,

Ericaaaaaa

48 comments:

SaM-GiRL said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're the sh!t erica....honestly. Thanks again... I wasnt in a bad mood today, I was in a VERY good mood, but you even managed to make that better. Thanks hun!
xxxxxxxx

Procrastamom said...

I agree with I talk too much...you are fucking hilarious. That's how I got here and that's how you got to be in my daily reads.

Erica AP said...

Sam: Haha... I'm glad I can affect your moods so profoundly!! :)

Procrastamom: I agree with them and myself and you... Haha... Just kidding - I'm not that egotistical. :)

Gregg O'Connell said...

I have to agree with God, you really should start believing in him b/c he MADE you funny!

Go God!

gso aka www.greggoconnell.com

Dave Evanns said...

You got an award huh? Congrats I guess. Or not, since you didn't really get one. Anyway, wanted to pay your site a visit since you were already yuckin it up on ours! Welcome aboard!

Erica AP said...

Gregg: How do you know that? Maybe you made me funny and you are God... Food for thought my son!!

Paul: Thanks, my medal is hanging nicely around my neck as we speak... I love yucking!!! :)

Natalie said...

OH! My fucking request could not be processed! Brilliance, released into the blogosphere... and comment not easily recaptured.
Here's the first effort:

Congrats. That was so Jennifer Hudson-ish sans buxom.

Now, would ya please put some feeds on this h-yere? My bloglines is crying for you. Bloglines is like lactation as buxom is to Jennifer. Otherwise, I will be forced to stalk you hourly for updates.

Next stop: NABP (National Advancement of Blogger Peeps.) Because WWJD? (What Would Jennifer do?)

Good show. Maybe now the comment will go through considering I swore and used the word "lactating" in a feed me kinda way.

Don't let that creep you out. Nipple to the bottle, and all.

Travis said...

Because of you I have decided to submit my site to be reviewed and more than likely torn apart for my shitty editing.

Congrats to you

Erica AP said...

Natalie: I put up a link "My RSS feed" I don't know that much about it but Greggoconnell.com told me to link it and I should be all set... I'm retarded with computer stuff so let me know if it doesn't work. And lactating is slightly creepy but won't scare my little heart... :)

Travis: Yeah - you should! You are fucking funny... I read all of your entries on your non-blog page... I'm sure you can handle the shit they throw at you. :)

Paul Hughson said...

Congratulations... you are fucking funny, so it's well deserved. Let's get some vodka and be fucking funny together.

BTW, did you notice you referred to "Dave" as "Paul?" That is fucking funny. Especially since he wishes he was a fucking funny as me. (Seriously, we are two separate people).

Erica AP said...

Dave (aka Paul): Haha... Well I guess that's what you get for sharing a blog with someone... In my book you guys are the same person because that's what I initially thought... Just kidding... I know you are 2 different people and that you are the funnier one. Haha... Just kidding Paul...Or Dave... Or the one I wrote a comment to earlier. What???

dirty said...

You had me at "I'm the coolest person you will ever meet... Ummm... Haha... I think that about covers it. Oh yeah - I'm also a big, fantastic dork."

Haha...Award well deserved!

Erica AP said...

Dirty: If I knew my words could sweep you off your feet than I would have written you a love letter years ago and we would be on a tropical island in the Caribbean sipping margaritas and gazing at the sunset...

dirty said...

You so totally get me...I heart you!

Erica AP said...

Dirty: Will you be my late Valentines?? :)

dirty said...

Of course! Let's run away together!

:o)

Serra said...

Yeah, what they said about putting your feed on, cuz I only have two hands and my RSS reader is the only way I make sense of my blog reading list.

Erica AP said...

Serra: I put a link that says "My RSS feed" Is it not working?? I'm fucking retarded at this stuff. All you knowledgeable people have let me know what the dealeeeo.

DaisyJo said...

Erica, found you at IT2M. Nope, feeds aren't working. If I may suggest it, go to your template and click the "settings" tab. Then select the "site feed" tab and set it to "full" and save it. Then you're set!

(I want to add you to Bloglines...you're funny!)

Dave Evanns said...

Wow, and I though Paul was my brother? He totally slammed me!

Either way Erica - congrats again, even if you don't remember my name. :o)

Erica AP said...

Daisyjo: Hummmmmm... I check it and it was set to full already. I know that if you click on the "RSS feed" link I put up, you can choose Blogline instead of Google... There are a couple of different feeds to choose from. Let me know if it still doesn't work... Thank for the help!!! :)

Dave: I will remember both of your names now. :) Sucks that your brother is slamming you... You gotta watch out for the jealous ones... Haha... So now you guys are brothers? :)

Matt said...

If you have to tell people you're funny....

Reminds me of this bitchola nun I had in seventh grade who'd pretend she didn't understand a joke of mine that cracked the class up. She'd make me explain the humor and as you know that takes the humor away.

What a fucking bitch. Why did I take that crap? I should have just sat and stared at her.

Erica AP said...

Matt: Please don't make me explain why it's funny that I think I'm funny. I don't really think I'm funny... I'm being boastful and sarcastic at the same time... haha... Shit - now the humor is lost. :) Do you want me to find that nun lady and beat her up for you? I could do it but I might go to hell for it... Haha...

The Boob Lady said...

Now, see, I thought I was the funniest bitch on the street. Well, we can share can't we?

Erica AP said...

Boob Lady: Of course we can share... You can have the east side of the house and I can have the west. Done? Good. Done. :)

DaisyJo said...

It's working now!

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Erica, Itak2much still couldn't do justice to your funniness, even though they do come close. Wait... is that a light from heaven I see beaming down on thee?

Dan said...

If you were the most unfunny person alive would you be thanking God as well ... or would you be, like, letting the air out of his Hummer tires when he wasn't looking?

Erica AP said...

Daisyjo: Awesome... Gregg set up a whole knew one for me. Yeah for computer geeks!!

QofD: Thanks! I had no idea that other people could see the constant light from God beaming on me. I hope it didn't blind you. :)

Dan: I would defiantly let the air out of his tires but I heard he uses a hover board so I'm not sure I know how to diffuse that... Maybe I could put some vegetable oil on it so he would keep sliding off... Haha...

Dave Evanns said...

Yes, brother from another mother, if you will.

blog Portland said...

I think using feeds shows a complete lack of dedication to the awesomeness that is Erica. I for one have tattooed the address onto my forearm for quick reference.

Erica AP said...

Dave: So your fathers are the same or are you just joshing me??

Portland: I appreciate your dedication to myself... If only others would follow your lead we could all live in a world of peace. Haha... :)

The Boob Lady said...

Excellent Erica, great idea!

xo

Dave Evanns said...

No blood relation at all. Just childhood buddies that consider each other as a brother.

Erica AP said...

Boob Lady: I'm glad you are happy with my proposal. :)

Dave: It all makes sense now... Let's not ever speak of it again so we can finish our quest of internet domination... God - I'm a fucking dork...

RILAH said...

i found you via ITTM, too and fuck beans, i'm linking you.

Erica AP said...

Rilah: No bean burritos for you?? :) Thanks for linking me!!!

SaM-GiRL said...

Anytime! youre the shit!

Amber said...

Congrats on the review. From the posts I just read, it was well deserved. Rawk the fuck on, woman! I'm definitely going to be coming back to visit!

Jay said...

Hey, what a coincidence. Alcohol got me to where I am today too. Let's just say it hasn't worked out as well for me.

Anyway, the chicks at I talk 2 much are right. You ARE funny. And I know funny!

Blondie said...

I'd have to agree. You're hilarious.

Never forget, Erica... I appreciate you.

Erica AP said...

Sam: NO you are the shit! :)

Amber: Thanks so much! I love rocking the fuck on!! :)

Jay: How could drinking not be good for you? I heard that it not only make you live longer but is good for your liver... Thanks for stopping by!!

Blondie: Thanks, I don't know what I would do with out you. :)

Queen of Dysfunction said...

I'll send you a care package but you have to give me your mailing address first. Now, isn't that scary?

Erica AP said...

QofD: I really was just kidding... I'm not afraid though because I know you aren't going to try to embalm me or anything but I would feel so guilty if you sent me one and it took me a year to send one to you... I still haven't sent my Brother and his families Christmas presents yet... Haha... I'm so bad with that shit.

Steven Novak said...

The chances of me suggesting my blog to any site for a review?

Zero.

I don't take critisism well. ;)

Steve~

Erica AP said...

Steve: It's strange that some of the funniest people who blog are the ones who really take criticizing to heart... And I wouldn't suggest you submit it to the one that reviewed me... They are usually very brutal... You don't need a review.. You already know you are the shit. :)

Brooklyn Frank said...

nicely done. muchos kudos!

Erica AP said...

Brooklyn Frank: Thanks a bunch!!