Sunday, February 18, 2007

WWE loves the customer


I've decided that there are crazy people everywhere. I don't think I'm generalizing. I seriously think that crazy people rule the world. I'm not talking about politics-rule-the-world, but more like the majority-crazy-people who rule the world. If you do or have ever worked in retail you know what I mean. Actually if you are male or female then you know what I mean.

I am a girl... I mean a WOMAN, and I have been known to be a little crazy. Girl crazy, where you might obsess about something that someone said and might just think about what they said for 2 hours, where the actual reality of the statement has come to the conclusion that you suck and they hate you and everything you've ever tried to do that was nice was really just a ploy to get you to do something that you may or may not have wanted to do. Just writing that sentence make me feel a bit crazy. Haha...

But that defiantly does not let the guys off the hook. The craziness from guys comes when either they are too sensitive for their own britches or when they are only thinking with their weewee. (Weewee's a fun word... Isn't it??) They may sound like they are talking with their head, but when pondering on what they said, often you can find a trail (not a happy trail) to their other head. So - I'm fucking saying it - Guys are PMSy and crazy. More or just as crazy as girls.

But what actually led me to this conclusion is not some guy that made me get all Sex In The City on you, or some male friend who called me on the verge of crying because they canceled his show of WWE to show Friends reruns, but the crazy customers who come into my work place. I know... I know... It's taboo to talk about work... But I don't think talking about customers is the same as talking shit about fellow employees (whom I may or may not have just written my last entry about. I don't really want to loose my jobs so please don't tell anyone). So I work at a place that draws the crazys. Artistic, autistic, awfully weird and anatomically not correct. Actually I don't know if they have all the right parts but I was writing a lot of "A" words. The "A TEAM" would be proud. But these people come in like they know everything OR don't know anything and need me, of all people, to help them manifest their creative energy into something substantial, that, I'll have you know, I'll make no money from. Sometimes I wonder if they aren't just homeless people posing as customers just to make me crazy. That's right. Crazy people make me crazy. How fucked up is that?

Maybe this place that I call work is not in my best interest for my mental health. Maybe I should just become a psychologist. Maybe I should start my own company where people think they are just coming to enhance there creative juices but I really just prescribe them drugs so that I can live a normal life. Would that be immoral???

Fuck em!! I say I am a fucking savior and for the good of Earth the world needs a fake psychologists like me. Haha...

Who's the crazy person now be-atch!!!

Love and peace in the world of lease, (what??? - it rhymes bitches!!!)

Erica

26 comments:

Gregg O'Connell said...

I love WWE and TNA!

Steven Novak said...

Crazy people make ma lazy...

Which rhymes with crazy. ;)

Steve~

Erica AP said...

Gregg: TNA means tits'n'ass, right??

Steve: You were always a team player when it comes to rhyming. :)

Queen of Dysfunction said...

I think that you should simply drink more. I also agree that anyone who as ever worked retail knows that 95% of the people out there are crazy, and the other 5% are developmentally disabled.

Erica AP said...

QofD: I think that if I drink anymore I might be considered a "real" alcoholic instead of a "fake" alcoholic. Haha... Maybe the customers should drink more, unless they are angry drunks, because then I might have to get all kung foo on their ass.

Gregg O'Connell said...

erica: check it www.tnawrestling.com
or go to my website www.greggoconnell.com

Erica AP said...

Gregg: You are a pimping-out-your-website whore. And I defiantly don't want to go to a wrestling website. Sorry. Give me some other good websites to go to that actually interest me.

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Erica, if you are a "fake" alcoholic as opposed to a "real" alcoholic, is Gregg a "fake" whore or a "real" one?

Erica AP said...

QofD: Good question. Gregg is defiantly a "real" whore in the sense that he can't get enough internet loving. There's no Internet Anonymous meeting for that addiction.

Anonymous said...

"what, are you bleeding?"

remember that line??

conversation OVER.


D.

Erica AP said...

Dave: That's a real great way to piss off a girl. Try to remember it when you get a girlfriend and you are arguing with her. Haha...

SaM-GiRL said...

In my opinion crazy ppl make the world MUCH more interesting....

Erica AP said...

Sam: I definatly like my fair share of crazy but it's the people who are yelling at themselves in the middle of the store that should be locked up. Crazy mofos!!!

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Well, at least Gregg can't give us herpes through his internet loving. Unlike his poor dog. ;)

Dan said...

I think you've finally lost it Erica.

Welcome to my world!! :)

Still, you have further to go. For instance, you are just beginning to wonder whether work is bad for your health instead of having certitude (is that even a word). And you use the phrase "fake psychologists" which implies that there are genuine psychologists.

In any event, that's nitpicking. (What the hell are nits?)

Very funny post.

Erica AP said...

QofD: Poor little puppies don't deserve to be loved in that way... Haha...

Dan: I have long ago decided that work is hazardous to my health, but I never knew it was because of crazy people. Haha... "Certitudible nits" are a term that us "fake" psychologist like to use to sound like "real" psychologists. It could also mean using quotation marks too much. :)

Freddie said...

Nits = lice eggs.

Hi Erica! Are you REALLY as crazy as you would have us believe?

Erica AP said...

Freddie: I read nits as "Nice legs" Haha... Is that really a word? No - I'm not THAT crazy. Just a little crazy... But isn't everyone? (please say yes) :)

Cazzie!!! said...

LOL, nah, being a nurse I know that crazy people are the sanest people I look after, or maybe I am insane and that's why I get along with the psych patients int eh first place. LOL.

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Erica, I found a birthday card today that was shaped like a pickle and it said "Happy birthday. Doesn't everyone need a paper pickle to keep them company?"

I laughed and I laughed. And I thought of this blog. Is that a bad thing?

Erica AP said...

Cazzie: I would become certifiably crazy if I was a nurse... I think I might become germafobic. :)

QofD: I think we are soul sisters... Haha... I LOVE that card. I've bought it before and when I read it I laughed and laughed too. That's so fucking awesome... Haha... Yeah!!!! And you know what? I love pickles... Please send some pickles in your care package. Haha... Your comment totally made my day.

tkkerouac said...

Love this post! I'm one of the crazies too!

Erica AP said...

tkkerouac: Cool! I'm glad you enjoyed it because crazy people are always fun!!

Matt said...

Dude, you spelled biotch incorrectly.

We're all crazy. Very few people DON'T fret about what people say or think about them.

Erica AP said...

Matt: I know - there are tons of different ways that people spell it so I choose to spell it the way I say it. Got it be-atch!!! Don't get me wrong... I love crazy people... They are like my brothers and sisters. Haha...

Miss Misery said...

I don't cry when they cancel my favourite shows, I just get really angry.

Then my boyfriend cries. I think I need to invest in a punching bag - other then my boyfriend.