Monday, February 12, 2007
Whales don't breath heavy
I know that I have talked about getting old in the past... Ok - the resent past. But sometimes the oldness takes over and all you can do is hope that it's not taking over your soul. Yes - I said "soul" Soul is my new favorite word because it en captures all of life and the glorious beings within it. And we can climb the mountains to the heavens and walk along hand and hand. Haha... I hope you know I was getting all John Denver on your ass...
Anyway, there is this certain person that I may or may not work with who breathes over my shoulder like she just walk up Mt. Washington. (look it up - it's fucking tall) And all I can think about is, "why exactly is she breathing this hard and can't even hear herself? How exactly does one go from place to place with the sound of an Orca whale lodged inside of her left lung and not even know it's in there??" This is when I try to control myself and block out the sound that could wake a baby lion. What? You don't know that baby lions sleep through everything? Well - look it up. WAIT!! Don't look it up... I just made that up. Shit - you caught me in a fib and now you will never look at me the same way... Sigh...
So, what I hope to accomplish in the future is to not be working so much and to not breath like I'm stuck in a Star Trek show where there's just not enough oxygen on the planet we landed on. Oh - and I'd like not to smell like really bad old person perfume. Or an old person in general because the last thing I want to reek of is band aides and Depends. Old people diapers are just not on my agenda for getting old. Ok? Good. I'm glad we got that straight.
So go on with your lives as the lovely "souls" that you are and when I get old we will have some tea, listen to some Rocky Mountain High and we will pee our pants with the best of them. But don't expect any heavy breathing because I swore that off when I could actually control my bodily functions.
Sucka what? Sucka who? Sucka you!!!