Monday, January 29, 2007
Love Me - Love the Music I Make
I love my dog. My dog loves me. I love music. My dog loves music (I think). I like playing my own music. My dog HATES my music.
It's a nice evening with a glass of wine and a toasty warm room and I get inspired to play a little bit of gee-tar... I start off soft like using Charmin's Toilet Paper for the first time, and sing sweetly like Snow White singing to her birds. But the more I get into it the louder I become and that's when my pup gets up, looks at me, rolls his eyes (he's very talented), and actually leaves the room to sit by himself. He would rather sit all alone in another room, in the freaking dark, than listen to me practice. Mannnnnnnnnnn... Isn't your dog supposed to love you unconditionally? Even if you just yelled at him because he is growling at every little noise he hears? Even if you yell at him and he ignores you? Even when you play guitar like a 3rd grader? I thought that your dog is supposed to love you more than your parents...
Well, you know what pup? FUCK YOU! Just kidding!!! I love you, I love you, I love you and you are soooo cute and I would never swear at you unless you were really pissing me off, and maybe you are right. Maybe I should start learning some Shania Twain covers and singing like Led Zeppelin. (Because those are his favorite musicians) If I start playing that stuff will you stay in the room with me and clap when I'm done? You can sing along if you want too... Alright - you can come on stage with me and sing a little at my next show. But you are no Brian from the Family Guy - I'm just making that clear right now, because I'm the star... Not you. The spot light is on me Mr. Brian wannabe. You are just going to have to deal with it because we all know you aren't as well read as Brian... Oh, I'm sorry!! Don't leave!!! Wait- I'll play some Shania for you!!!
OK - maybe I'm just a little obsessed with my dog and maybe he rules my life just a little. And I see nothing wrong with me having whole conversations with him because I'm usually by myself...
Oh shit - did I just write all that for the whole World Wide Web to read? Fuck it - if you have a problem with it I'll just have my dog attack your shoes. Because that's what he does best, obviously. Shoe's are like the hydrogen in his Hindenberg.
Crazy yelling dog lady,