Thursday, January 25, 2007
Color me M and M
I respect my elders. Really I do. Well... Maybe I don't. Maybe I am just a little defiant when my elders tell me what to do. Ok - I'm a teenager stuck in an adult body. I admit it and have been going to a 12 step program and I'm still in the denial stage. But, dudes (and dudettes), who likes to be told what to do? I sure as hell don't. Even if my respected elder is nice about it, I start a whole argument in my head that fuels the fire of angst, "Can you do this next time, because what you've been doing it not what I want. Thanks so much." (no - this isn't the creepy Office Space guy) I respond all smiles with, "Ok - no problem! I understand." But as soon as they leave I'm cursing under my breath and I've started the dialog that goes a little like this: "Why the hell do I have to do it THAT way when I've been doing it fine all along and everyone ELSE does it THIS way and no one else gets a talking to, and who the hell are YOU anyway to tell me what to do BE-ATCH!!!" Then I may go into different versions of this with different swear words, and I try to keep it in my head but I'm sure someone somewhere must see me talking to myself...
So that makes me think, when do we become elders, exactly? I would like to know the exact time, date, day of month and moon rotation. Do you become an elder when you have kids or at a certain age? Do you have to have wisdom or just a stick up your ass? Would I be considered an elder? (Man - I don't think I have ever typed the word "elder" so much in my entire life) If you have to have kids or be really old, then, I don't want it. Nope!!! I wash my hands of my elderness. I'm going to have an elderness life. (FYI - Elderness is a way cooler word than elder)
I guess what I'm realizing, everyday that I get older, is that I don't want to grow up. I want to stay young forever. Not in my junior high, coke bottle glasses, with high waters, stage - but in my college, drink and hang out with friends stage. Growing up scares me so fucking much that I often hang out with Mr. Groundhog in his dugout in the ground and only come out for special occasions. (Which would be of course, Halloween because of all the great candy at Target, and New Years because you get to party like you are 21) But I don't think those special occasions are enough. I want to live everyday like I want. I don't want ANYONE telling me what to do and I want to go out and party like a Paris Hilton wannabe. I don't want to be responsible and grow up and I defiantly don't want some mofo telling me to do something differently that I don't even care about in the first place. Is that so bad? Does everyone have to grow up? Growing up is so booooooring...
But you know what's so good? M and M's at the candy store where you can get any colors you want mixed together... It's like an art project that you can eat!!!
Who's the freakin' kid now? That's right bitch!!!!
Love all elders my son,